Shroud of Turin "White Like New" Thanks to OxiClean
Billy Mays is grinning like a Cheshire Cat, after the news of the accomplishments of one of the products he endorses.
The shroud of Turin, stained for centuries with an apparent image of a man, is now "white like new" thanks to OxiClean, and an industrious cleaning lady at the Turin cathedral....
I'm not surprised," said the cleaning lady. "That enthusiastic man on TV said OxiClean wipes out organic stains -- and he's right. It's also supposed to make clothes last up to 50 percent longer, so the crowds that come to see this will be able to do so for many more years."
The former employee of the cathedral at Turin said she took the shroud home and washed it herself, with her other whites, because she was ashamed at all those tourists seeing the stains.
"Isn't there something in the Bible against 'airing dirty laundry'? Anyway, that's not how my mother raised me. Cleanliness is next to godliness. We didn't have nice things, but they were always clean."
Scientists studying the Shroud to determine if it really was the burial cloth of Jesus had no comment, but could be heard whimpering behind closed doors.
