Cobain journals reveal tortured soul
"It was a stupid thing to do and Ill never do it again and I feel real sorry for anyone who thinks they can use heroine as a medicine because um, duh, it don't work."
Kurt Cobain was a brilliant, talented, and, in retrospect, horribly tortured personality. It is difficult to explain or understand the forces that could drive someone to end their own life. Cobain's demons (and the pain they created), terrible as they were, could only really be fulled understood by Cobain himself. For anyone to pass judgement on anyone for taking their life is a misguided and insensitive leap.
I cannot speak to the demons that drove Cobain to hasten his own demise, but I believe I can understand them to some small degree. You see, I've been there. I've wrestled with depression off and on over my entire adult life. To me, it's been a war of ebbs and flows. Generally speaking, life is manageable, with it's normal up and downs. There have been times, though, when I've found myself seriously considering the possibility of ending my own life. It's a difficult thing for me to admit, but there it is. I still wrestle with those demons, and while I'm not sure I would ever be able to take my own life, there are times when that certainty is greatly diminished. That can be a frightening thing to contemplate.
All of this hit very close to home for me this afternoon as I was driving home from work. Susan called to tell me that one of Eric's high shcool debate teammates had committed suicide. Heather was a freshman, probably 15-16 years old, with her entire life in front of her. I'm saddened, of course, at the terrible waste of a young life; it really is senseless. I did not know Heather, and I don't think Eric knew her all that well, either. Even so, how do you explain to a teenager how one of their peers could end her own life?
As I look out the window of our home into the cold, monsoon rain of a dreary October afternoon, this all seems a bit too much to deal with. I've never had to deal with the demons of drug abuse like Kurt Cobain or whatever demons drove Heather over the edge, but I can understand the idea of being so overwhelmed by life that death seems not only like an inviting option, but the ONLY option.
If I could leave anyone reading this with only one message, it would be this: life IS worth living, and it sure beats the alternative. Suicide is never an answer, nor is it a solution. I've come to understand that there is help available, if only one can find it within themself to ask. Please; if you need help, ask- there are more people willing to help than you could possibly know....
I wrestled with depression for about 15 years. Only recently did I manage to get a grip on it. I have lost several of my friends to this disease and I felt like I knew Kurt through his music so when he took his life I was saddened greatly. Suicide is not the answer, illegal drugs are not the answer, therapy and Prozac worked for me. :)
Life is worth living? Not likely.
If someone wants to kill himself they have a right to do it. It’s their life and no one can tell them what to do with it. The question is whether it’s worth hurting the ones you leave behind. If Curt was so brilliant, then why did he leave his child fatherless to be raised by a druggie mommy? Curt Cobain is given way too much credit.
Personally I think Kurt was brilliant!
I have just recently started to really listen to the lyrics to his songs.
Ok so maybe leaving his daughter with Courtney wasn't the besy idea to us but I'm sure she loves the child very much and I'm sure Curt did to. I'm fact I'm positive he loved his daughter as it is writting in his suicide note:
"Please keep going Courtney for Frances for her life which will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU."
He honestly believed that he was doing the right thing for everyone.
For himself, his wife and hid daughter.