Recently, I was the first to break the news of a monumental breakthrough in the fight against alien mind control, the Thought Screen Helmet- a cranio-elucidatory anti-psychotronic protective device that can be constructed for as little as $35. Today, I'm happy to announce yet another weapon in the ongoing battle to keep aliens from reading and manipulating our thoughts. The Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie. The AFDB is effective, inexpensive, and practical mind control protection for paranoids- all it takes is a roll of tin foil.
An Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB) is a type of headwear that can shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers. AFDBs are inexpensive (even free if you don't mind scrounging for thrown-out aluminium foil) and can be constructed by anyone with at least the dexterity of a chimp (maybe bonobo). This cheap and unobtrusive form of mind control protection offers real security to the masses. Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly secret. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable.
What are you waiting for? Make one today!
I have been so impressed with the Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie that I have decided to make it the Official Headgear of The People's Republic of Seabrook! Maybe it will keep those pesky aliens from following me and messing with my mind all day long....
Now, if you don't mind, I'm starving. I think I'll go read about The Secret History of French Fries while I ponder breakfast....
