Jim Bob Hargrove will go on trial in Alpine, Texas, for castrating Clay Henry III, the mayor of Lajitas, Texas. Even though Clay Henry III is a beer-drinking goat, locals weren't amused when Hargrove became enraged that Steve Smith "borrowed" a beer from him and then wasted it on a goat. Hargrove spent the rest of the day boasting that he was going to go back and castrate Clay Henry III, and the next morning housekeepers found a goat testicle in the room of the condo where Hargrove was staying. Clay Henry III, who has been in office since 2000, recovered and is letting the authorities sort things out, although he's still drinking heavily.
- Joe Bob Briggs