Greetings and salivations, one and all. Welcome to my cozy corner of the Internet. I hope that you will enjoy your stay- spend some money, jaywalk, annoy the locals. We haven't had this much excitement around here since Tropical Storm Allison.
In keeping with what I understand to be the hallowed tradition of the Carnival, I have posted the entries in the order they were received, and I have limited the entries to one per personality. In the interest of maintaining my sanity (and health), I have omitted the traditional virginal sacrifice and the host's ritual suicide (I have an aversion to sharp objects).
Before we get started, I'll offer a moment of Zen. Ponder the power of the Bunny:
There, don't you feel better already?? I know I do.
And now, without further ado, please welcome Episode 22 in the long-running soap opera and bacchanal that is...
THE CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES
Jaap Stijl: In The Land of Terror and Code Orange. Getting ready for The Big One isn't as easy as you might think....
Marty Dodge: The anti-anti-war rally. "If you pay taxes, you are a terrorist"?? Well, then the IRS has already won, eh?
Joshua Fielek: Peace Envoy. Sure, but I don't think this envoy came from Vatican City.
Michael Finley: The Perfect Anti-War Poem. I mean, what good is a poem by some lowly person against a cruise missile, or an aircraft carrier, or Total Information Awareness? I know; you just can't fight Total Information Awareness, can you?
Karel Kerezman: On Silly Statuettes. How about an Oscar rant?
Dean Esmay: Campaign for Democracy and Human Rights in Iraq! Dean says this is his most important post yet, and I can't say that I'd disagree. As our own beloved President said just yesterday: "Democracy is a beautiful thing."
Arthur Silber: Unilateralism- and a legacy worth dying for. (BTW, Arthur: I know I said one submission per personality, but I never imagined that I would get an email from your therapist testifying to your nine personalities. Let's hope that new medication kicks in soon....)
Little Tiny Lies: GET THE NET! Steve Reels in a Whopper. No, we're not talking about Chinese Snakeheads, either.
DaGoddess: Because He Hasn't Terrorized Me in Person Yet. Joanie reminds us that sometimes life is serious business, particularly when it hits so close to home.
Plum Crazy: Comment Vous Définissez Immédiat En Français? Ah, oui, we love all things French right about now, don't we??
Ravenwood: A Proposed History of the Anti-War Movement. Nathaniel Chester...The Crittenden Compromise...there will be a quiz later.
Charles G. Hill: Time Expiring. It's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine.
Bruce Hill: Senatus Populus Que Romanus. Should we all just take a 'lude, toke on a bit fat doobie and relax on the beach with a six-pack and "Jenny From The Block" pumping through the headphones? Well, as long as you're asking.... ;0)
John Ray: Libertarianism is a broad church. Hmm; I must admit that this is the first time I've ever heard the words "libertarianism" and "church" used in the same sentence....
John Moore: Ned Flanders at Phoenix Peace Demonstration. John does mention that Groundskeeper Willie was unable to attend. No word, though, on the whereabouts of Bart and Homer....
IMAO: In My World: Rumsfeld: I'd Rather be Killing Commies . Hmm; doesn't this sound like an old Tom Lehrer song??
Beth Mauldin: If I Were Bush. Hey, if we Americans are such nasty, horribly, mean-spirited, dominating people, and if y'all hate us so much, why do you buy our products? Accept our foreign aid and our technical expertise? Expect US troops to protect you? We must be doing SOMETHING right, eh?
Lynn Sislo: In Honor of Black History Month: #2, One Strange Day. As if growing up in Lufkin, TX, could be anything but strange.
Kiril Kundurazieff: The Choice. Before any of you say anything, think about what YOU would do if faced with the same dilemma.
Everything Must Go: Belgian Fruit Beer. That's right; it's a dessert topping AND a floor wax!!
Justene Adamec: The N-word. A study in how one man's pejorative is another's term of endearment and yet another's...well, has their ever been a word in the English language that carries more baggage?
DC Pierson: Running on Empty. Creative writing run amok- or out of gas, depending on your perspective.
James DiBenedetto: Bully Pulpits. I'm a celebrity....GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!
Jon Mann: Towards a Positive GOP Policy on Race. Interesting ideas, but not an easy sell. Trusting the GOP on race is a lot like trusting Enron with my retirement money.
Chuck Simmins: Fiddle Dee Dee. This just in: Saddam Hussein is a BAD man. Film at 11....
Solonor: We Need More Pie, Cap'n! Solonor explains why the world would be a better place if Dave Barry and Wil Wheaton fought a steel-cage death match. Hmm....
The World According to Pete: Random Bits, Part 2. Pete regales us with tales of auto accidents, failed relationships, twisted uses for astrology, Amazon-like women, butcher knives, and starving artists. Man, I can hardly wait for Part 3....
Charles Austin: The Scourge of Richard Cohen, Vol. LXXVII. Man, how can you not love a post that comes with a disclaimer like this: (Ed. -- The following is a bit of mean spiritedness that will be an on-going feature of this blog. Normally the author will endeavor to be reasonably fair, but this is an exception.)
Edward Mick: The Movie I Want To See. Hey, anything has to be better than two hours of Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant, eh??
Button M: Touch-and-Go Uncertainties. What would you do if you had to or wanted to flee your home for safer climes? Well, first I'd find the cats....
C. Dodd Harris: I Am A Sexist Pig: I Open Doors For Women. Stop! You're giving the rest of us sexist pigs who DON'T open doors for women a bad name. BTW, any post that can effectively incorporate the use of the phrase "load of dingoes' kidneys" deserves to go to the head of the line.
Laurence Simon: Kroaked Kahil Korny Kartoon Kaption. Hmm...methinks the aforementioned Mr. Simon is not a big fan of Mahmoud Kahil. You have to love this caption, though: "The Palestinian Observer's car is the one in the back row, ticking loudly and smelling of Semtex." Wotta mensch....
Tim Dunlop: We're on the eve of distraction. Everyone's got their ax to grind, eh?
Alex Knapp: Let's Make This A Hell Of A Party! So how DO we revive the moribund mess that passes for the Democratic Party these days? Well, short of running SpongeBob Squarepants for President, how about sex, drugs, and rock & roll?? Damn, now why couldn't I have thought of that??
Bryan Murley: Poets Against The War Update!. Hey, I submitted a poem, too! I was quite proud of it, but, alas, it was rejected. Maybe it was the introduction: "There once was a man from Nantucket...." Poets can be such snobs sometimes.
Paul Fontaine: DeathStorm 2003 vs. Orange Alert Crisis. It's true; if you live near a Super WalMart, you really can ride out virtually any natural disaster.
Fran Mason: The elephant in the living room. Fran wonders whether it is possible to be relevant if one does not write about politics or war. A piece of unsolicited advice here, if I may: I think you can be relative specifically BECAUSE you don't write about politics or war. Some once told me that if I wanted to write, then I should write about what I know and enjoy. He was right then, and he's still right.
South Knox Bubba: Godblog. Yes, the All Seeing, All Knowing One has a blog. No, silly, not Larry Simon; We're talking God here. The Man has a lot on his mind....
Sean-Paul Kelley: Smallpox, Part 2. Well, Sean-Paul didn't actually submit this...OK, he didn't submit anything, but if he had, this might have been it. I wanted to give some well-deserved props to my favorite erudite San Antonio resident! Yes, another member of the Vast Left Wing Conspiracy!! Hide your tax dollars, y'all!!
In Context: The Menin Gate. Lest anyone forget the human cost of war, the Menin Gate serves as a silent, solemn reminder of the meatgrinder that was the Ieper Salient in WWI.
Tim Hall: Ladies of the Road. A review of the 1971/2 King Crimson live album. A 45 minute sax and guitar solo? Ah, those were the days....
John Norton: Why Orange now? Hmm...perhaps because mauve just doesn't send the right message??
David Sims: How Liberals Think. Well, this explains everything, eh?? To quote Nick Bakay, "The numbers never lie!"
David Russell: Saturday Seth: The Estrada Fillibuster. I just LOVE a good game of political football. Don't you??
Matt & Vicky Drachenberg: Why people hate the French- a classic definition. Jacques Chirac- imperious, supercilious, and smug...and yet somehow strangely life-like.
Dave Worley: French Fried Nuke. If France is the prime example of European economic and military strength...well, it's no wonder the US has become the world's de facto moral policeman. I wonder...how do you say "missile envy" in French?
Everything Grey: The Surreal Life. Just what this troubled world of ours needs- more Vince Neal and Corey Feldman! Rock on, Wayne!!
Seth Farber: A Protest Pastiche. Not many of us would be talented enough to weave President Bush, Tony Blair, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Star Trek Episode #36 together into one solid riff. Thankfully, there is nothing happening in the world today that a few dozen ornery Klingons couldn't fix.
Michele Catalano: Fire eaters! puppets! art! (and some protests). Time was when we Liberals staged protest rallies that actually meant something. Now we orchestrate rallies that are as tightly organized and as meaningless as the Academy Awards. One can be thankful that there is always a Starbucks close by, I suppose.
And sneaking in just under the wire...
Feste: Liberal radio network planned as an alternative to truth. Ooo...must...control...Fist...of...Death....
That's all, folks. I hope you enjoyed the ride. This has been a LOT of work, but I've enjoyed it immensely! Muchas gracias to Bigwig for allowing me to host the Carnival!! Next week's bacchanal will be hosted by the fine, upstanding folks at Kesher Talk. Mazel Tov, y'all!!
