Our economy appears to be circling the drain; yet you never would have suspected as much if you had been in Atlanta before the NBA All-Star Game.
Perhaps it's to the country's credit that while standing at the brink of war, we'll still party like it's 1999. Or, rather, 1969: With all the 5XL throwback baseball jerseys in Atlanta, it was difficult to tell if this was the 2003 NBA All-Star Game or the 1973 Major League Baseball All-Star Game. Jermaine O'Neal of the Indiana Pacers wore braids and a blaze-orange '84 Denver Broncos shirt around town. With their plumage and primary-colored suits, players are increasingly indistinguishable from mascots. All they're missing is the furry tongue.
Even those were easy to acquire in Atlanta, at parties like the Chris Webber-hosted Evening of Luxury, an invitation-only affair at which a 2003 SUV was to be given away to an already-rich reveler. Why not? Shaquille O'Neal on Friday wore a hooded sweatshirt whose leather sleeves could have been hewn from Louis Vuitton luggage. His knit watch cap bore the Yankees' NY logo done up in diamonds. Said Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times: "Why not go the final step and just start wearing a toga?"
....And yet, televised talk of a "wartime economy" was rendered ridiculous by displays of conspicuous consumption so over-the-top that they'd have made Caligula do a spit-take: stretch Volkswagen Beetles, bowler hats made from Gucci handbags, men swaddled in so many chains that Atlanta looked like a city of Houdinis. Or Henry the VIIIs: Grown men really did carry, through the Hyatt lobby at 2 a.m., their own jewel-encrusted chalices.
Of course, left unreported (thankfully) was the location of the vomitorium.
And for some reason, the phrase "Nero fiddled as Rome burned..." keeps running through my brain....
