(All hail Ben Garvey)
Terror Alert Frankenberry:
The only way he's going to get you is if you eat too much of his goddamn cereal. Relax.
Terror Alert Mummy:
He's so slow, you'd have to be pretty oblivious if he killed you. As long as you aren't putting yourself in dangerous situations the mummy is no problem.
Terror Alert Zombie:
Ok, slight problem here because there are usually a lot of them, but they are still slow and with proper lighting and equipment (ie, shotguns, torches) you should be ok.
Terror Alert Wolfman:
This guy is bad news. He typically kills a lot before he's done, but at least he can only operate at night under a full moon and has a distinct weakness (silver bullets).
Terror Alert Dracula:
You are totally fucked because unlike all the other monsters, Dracula knows what he's doing. He can turn into a bat, charm the pants off women, and usually employs any number of other monsters to help him. He sucks your blood, not because he likes doing it, but to survive. The worst part is that even though you might kill him via the wooden stake or forcing him into sunlight, he's probably converted at least a dozen vampire sleeper cells before you've polished off your crosses.
You know, maybe Ben should be our next Director of Homeland Security. At least he can put things into terms that I can understand....