February 28, 2003 8:19 AM

Why, yes, I AM a Major League ballplayer. Why do you ask?

Minn. Twins Impostor Tries to Buy Home

Some folks will ANYTHING to impress a woman. Man, if this loser can sign a $17 Million contract with the Twins, what might I be worth?

MINNEAPOLIS - A man posing as a Minnesota Twins baseball player tried to buy a million-dollar home, but was foiled when he produced a supposedly official document riddled with misspellings and bad grammar.

Dewitt Alonzo Davison, 21, insisted he was just trying to impress his fiancee and her family.

Davison told real estate agents he had recently signed a $17 million contract with the Twins and wanted to buy a home before he reported for spring training in Fort Myers, Fla. He provided a letter, purportedly from the Twins, that verified his financial status.

But the letter was riddled with misspellings, which made seller Robert Griggs suspicious about the prospective buyer of the $1.495 million home.

Griggs' real estate agent contacted the Twins organization, which said they had no one by that name under contract and certainly did not pay him $17 million.

"It was full of misspellings and grammatical errors," Mark Naylon of the Ramsey County Sheriff's Office said of the letter. "It wasn't even on Twins letterhead."

Davison was arrested for being a military deserter.

No, I can't hit a curveball, I'm slower than Tom DeLay's compassion reflex, and I have the vertical jump of Jesse Helms. I CAN spell, though....

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on February 28, 2003 8:19 AM.

Shooting themselves in the foot...AGAIN was the previous entry in this blog.

In politics, as in war, the first casualty is usually Truth is the next entry in this blog.

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