And no, I'm not going to sing....

(Via Larry Simon, and sung to the tune of "Candle in the Wind")

Goodbye Connie Chung
Even though I never watched you at all
You had the nerve to promote yourself
While Dave on Late Night drooled
They brought you to the network
And they whispered into your ear
They put you on the prompter
And they made you keep your name

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like an anchor in the wind
Never knowing who to work for
When the ratings came in
And I would have liked to watch you
But I was just sickened
Your paychecks ran out long before
Your contract ever did

CBS was rough
The toughest place you ever worked
Oklahoma City created a super stink
And Dan was the price you paid
Even when you quit
Oh, the mess still followed you
All the tabloids had to say
Was she and Maury trying to have a kid?

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like an anchor in the wind
Never knowing who to work for
When the ratings came in
And I would have liked to watch you
But I was just sickened
Your paychecks ran out long before
Your contract ever did

Goodbye Connie Chung
Even though I never watched you at all
You had the nerve to promote yourself
While Dave on Late Night drooled

Goodbye Connie Chung
From the young man in the CNN producer's booth
Who saw you as something less than ineffectual
More than just Maury's favorite hole

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like an anchor in the wind
Never knowing who to work for
When the ratings came in
And I would have liked to watch you
But I was just sickened
Your paychecks ran out long before
Your contract ever did