March 1, 2003 12:57 PM

Anyone need a good house painter? Don't call me, then....

Well, maybe it's a good thing that Susan and Eric are gone for the weekend. After all the work that Susan and her mother put into rearranging things to make this old home look like people actually live in it, it's just been re-trashed. Three painters are crawling over the living room and the entry way, and every piece of furniture has been moved. It's for a good cause, because the painting needs to be done, but I doubt that I'll remember where everything goes.

When I was laid off for three months last year, I took it upon myself to paint the interior of our house. Frankly, I did a helluva a job. There was only one problem, though. As a man with a limited attention span, I never actually FINISHED painting a room. I'd finish perhaps 95% of the work and then move on to the next room. For months, our house has looked like it was painted by someone with the attention span of a recalcitrant 12-year-old, which in fact it was.

Today we're getting the front of the house completed. Then there is the kitchen and the back of the house. Of course, once we get that all done, there is the problem of the exterior, which I began scraping two years ago and have yet to finish. When I've had the time, I haven't had the inclination. When I've had the inclination, I haven't had the time. Then there is the weather. Trust me, you don't want to be painting the exterior of your home in southeast Texas from mid-April through late September- not when there is a 51" television in your air-conditioned living room.

As you may have gathered by now, home maintenance is a concept largely lost on me, although I have become reasonably expert at replacing the inner workings of a toilet. No one will ever mistake me for Tim the Toolman, but fixing the toilets made me an instant hero around this house. Who could ask for anything more??

I just hope that I can put things back together before Susan and Eric get back tomorrow.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on March 1, 2003 12:57 PM.

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