Thanks to my friend The Scarlet Pimpernel for brightening my day with this email:
Below is a verbatim transcript of my call this morning to Senator Rick Santorum's Office.
SSO: "Senator Santorum's office."
Me: "Hello there... took me awhile to get through. Guess you're pretty busy what with all this going on."
SSO: "Yes."
Me: "Well I just wanted you to know that my wife and I are big supporters
of the Senator, but we have just one question..."SSO: "Yes?"
Me: "Does oral sex between a husband and wife, when they're both consenting... does that constitute sodomy?"
SSO: "Umm.. no. It does not."
Me: "HOT DAMN! (calling out to wife:) HONEY? GREAT NEWS!"
SSO: (stifles laugh)
Me: "Thank You. Thank You Very Much. Just one more thing..."
SSO: "Yes?"
Me: "How does the Senator feel about doggy-style?"
SSO: "Umm... I can't really speak for the Senator on that."
Me: "Oh Well... Thanks Again!" (Hangs up.)
If you've got questions for the Senator concerning appropriate sexual behavior, why not give him a call? (202) 224-6324
