June 26, 2003 9:50 AM

500 monkeys on 500 keyboards....

Another day at home nursing a migraine, so what can I do BUT pontificate?


  • So the Supreme Court decided to overrule Texas' law against homosexual sex? Outside of giving the Religious Right something to weep and gnash their collective teeth about, does this really matter? What interest does (or should) the state have in what happens behind closed doors between consenting adults? I'd always thought that Conservatives wanted to get government OUT of our lives?? Silly me....
  • So I'm watching CNN yesterday afternoon, and what do I see but an ad done by the Saudi government, trying to convince us that the Saudis are (if I remember correctly) "allies against terror." Really, and all that Saudi money that ended up in al-Qaeda's coffers was just a freak accident? And I suppose that the fact that several of the 9.11 hijackers were Saudi nationals was a mere coincidence? Whatever....

  • I'm tired of Ann Coulter, and I'm sick of writing about her. Even so, this anti-Coulter site is a funny read. The site is no longer being updated, but it is still timely.

    So you want to know how to write a column just like our Favorite Blond Fascist? Try on some of these recurring themes:


    1. Liberals are evil.

    2. Ronald Reagan was a great President.

    3. Bill Clinton is a bad man who liked sex too much.

    4. Liberals are always calling conservatives evil.

    5. George Bush is a hero.

    6. Liberals are stupid.

    7. A liberal columnist wrote something bad (although you may have to distort or put words into the columnist's mouth to make this work).

    8. Liberals are always calling conservatives stupid.

    9. Hillary Clinton is a bad woman who likes power too much.

    10. Liberals want to coddle terrorists.

    11. Liberals are almost like terrorists.

    12. Liberals are the terrorists.

    13. Mention swarthy males with middle eastern countenances.

    14. Liberals are always calling conservatives nasty names.

    15. Call liberals some nasty names.

    16. Bill Clinton is a really bad man who liked sex way too much.

    17. Mention you are not a swarthy male, but rather a blonde girl from Connecticut.

    18. Black people are doing just fine; the Civil Rights movement was/is over-rated.

    19. Ronald Reagan was the greatest president of the 20th century.

    20. Liberals are mostly Park Avenue matrons and leftist academics.

    21. Imply that liberals loved Communism and the Soviet Union.

    22. Call a male liberal (or conservative you don't like) a girly-boy. If you really don't like them call them a girly-girl.

    23. Make fun of global warming.

    24. Bush is a better president than Clinton was.

    25. Find something that one person did or said, and use to prove that all liberals/feminists/gays/blacks are bad (although you may have to distort or puts words into the mouth of the person to make this work).

    26. Liberals are Satan's minions in disguise
  • So former Texas Attorney General Dan Morales is back in jail? Gee, what a shock. This is the same man who pleaded poverty in order to secure a public defender, and then went out and filed two loan applications- one for Lexus and one for a Mercedes-Benz. Not bad for someone who can't afford to hire an attorney, eh? I've often wondered what it's like to live in an ethical and moral vaccuum...nah, I really DON'T want to know if this is what it's going to look like.
  • Pave Paradise and put up a parking lot: I'm watching the Jacksonville Coliseum implode. All it took was 410 strategically-placed sticks of dynamite. I want that job....

  • CNN is showing closing arguments from what's being called the "Windshield Murder" trial. The defense attorney is making the argument that failing to call for aid is not murder in this instance. Say what?? You impale someone on your windshield, you drive your vehicle home and park it in your garage (with the victim still impaled on the windshield). You allow the victim to bleed to death when you had the power and the ability to pick up the phone and dial 911? How does this willful negligence NOT rise to the level of murder?? Chante Mallard procrastinated, dawdled, and fretted over what was going to happen to HER, not what she could have done to help the poor, unfortunate homeless man impaled on the windshield of her vehicle. To not hold Ms. Mallard responsible for the murder of Gregory Biggs would be an unthinkable travesty of justice. Pure and simple- Ms. Mallard's actions (lack of same) were directly responsible for the death of Mr. Biggs. That is murder.

    And here is another question: What if Gregory Biggs had not been a homeless man? What if he had been a politician, a CEO, or a man of wealth and stature? Do you think that someone might be speaking up for him?

  • Since when does the color of Hillary Clinton's contact lenses pass for news? What? You can best her on policy issues, so now you're reduced to nit-picking her personal appearance? Grow up....
  • I'm growing tired of this g*****n headache. All I want to do is to go back to bed...hey, maybe that's not such a bad idea, after all....

blog comments powered by Disqus

Technorati

Technorati search

» Blogs that link here

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 26, 2003 9:50 AM.

Ignorance and demagoguery on parade was the previous entry in this blog.

Will someone please take my credit card from me? is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Contact Me

Powered by Movable Type 5.12