July 4, 2003 6:16 AM

DUMASS AWARD wiener #4

Errant drive finds sand trap: Teen flips SUV while `doing doughnuts' on course

Congratulations to DUMASS AWARD wiener #4, 17-year-old Parker Allen Dial, who apparently decided that the golfing experience would be greatly enhanced by replacing a golf cart with a Ford Explorer. Hilarity ensued....

The par-5 sixth hole at the Golf Club at Cinco Ranch is 532 yards long, with water on the left and a fairway bunker on the right.

But on Thursday, an inverted Ford Explorer created a new obstacle across the front of the green....

The upside-down sport utility vehicle was a temporary hazard that a handful of golfers had to overcome Thursday before it was uprighted and towed away.

Ludeke said a 17-year-old boy drove the Ford onto the course and made several tight circles on the green before one of the wheels slipped over the lip of the bunker and the vehicle flipped over.

The teen, Parker Allen Dial, of 22000 Wickfield, was charged with felony criminal mischief, said Sgt. James Owen of the Harris County Precinct 5 Constable's office....

Thursday's vandalism occurred a few minutes after midnight. When employees arrived for work in the pre-dawn hours, they found at the clubhouse a note from the teen's father explaining what happened.

Course employees called police and at about the same time officers arrived, the man and his son also showed up, Ludeke said.

"The police told me that the boy was mad and just wanted to tear some (stuff) up," Ludeke said.

Sgt. Jason McDaniel of the constable's office said the teen did about $15,000 worth of damage.

Congratulations to young Mr. Dial for taking the Bored Teenager shtick to a whole new level. When I was a kid, we'd go cow-tipping or attack roadsigns with birdshot. Mr. Dial, however, has truly proven himself worthy of the supreme honor that is the DUMASS AWARD. Wear your dunce cap proudly, son. You're a DUMASS!

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 4, 2003 6:16 AM.

When God wants to punish us, He answers our prayers was the previous entry in this blog.

Oh, and before I forget....Happy Independence Day, y'all!! is the next entry in this blog.

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