Intern for U.S. Senator sends embarrassing break-up e-mail to girlfriend. (via the fine, upstanding folks at Rush Limbaughtomy)
Our latest wiener was (and I emphasize WAS) and intern in the office of Texas Republican Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison. Our poor desperate DUMASS, Mr. Tripplehorn, has no doubt become too well-acquainted with the awesome and powerful combination of the SEND button and an almost criminal excess of self-esteem.
This is probably NOT how you would want to break up with your girlfriend....
From: Kelly Tripplehorn [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Tuesday, June 03, 2003 2:11 PM
Subject: you suck
Well, as of this afternoon, I was planning on ruining your career by making phone calls to all of my parents friends and have you blackballed from the workplace as well as every prestigous law school in the country, but then (lucky for you) I decided not to do that because you are a sad sad person and I will just let your life self destruct right before my eyes....
By the end of the day if I wanted to, I could make a phone call and have your life absolutely ruined but there is no need because you are falling fast enough towards failure without me. In the end, all I can say is that people love me and people hate you. You should observe me and take a few notes on how to make real friends. Other than you tieing this one other person, I have never had such little respect for a human being in my life. I don't even have to tell you why because in my very accurate analysis that most everyone else agrees with, if you were to agree with my analyis about your character than my whole entire analysis would be wrong. Your inflamed ego has left you so blind and so impotent that you can nto even recognize the most obvious flaws in yourself. All your old roommates absolutely hated you and you still think the problem is with them, not you. Well I talked to your roommates and I thought they nice normal girls. So naturally, you would not fit in with them because you are so intellectually above them all. Right? You suck at life and you need to figure out why or you will be miserable for the rest of your life.
Once again from your intellectual, moral, social, and emotional superior,
Paul Kelly Tripplehorn, Jr.
Congratulations, son. It's not often that someone can advertise himself worldwide as a complete jackass with a solitary keystroke. Yes, Paul Kelly Tripplehorn, Jr., you have gone above and the call of duty in demonstrating that you are deserving of a DUMASS AWARD. I feel sorry for your next girlfriend....