August 6, 2003 7:19 PM

Greetings from Hell

A friend forwarded this to me today, and with the heat index over 110, it seems an appropriate thing to share.

Texan through and through (thanks, Beamers!!)


A Texan died and ascended into Heaven. St. Peter met him and welcomed him saying, "You will certainly enjoy Paradise."

The Texan shook his head sadly and said, "I always thought that TEXAS was Paradise."

St. Peter said, "Well, let me show you what we have to offer." He took the Texan to an area that had a beautiful river flowing through it with wildlife and flowers everywhere. "Isn't this beautiful?" asked St. Peter.

The Texan replied, "Yep, but not as pretty as the area down around the Guadalupe River."

St. Peter took him to another area where there were rolling hills, whitetail deer and bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush everywhere...picture perfect! "Now!" said St. Peter, "Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?"

The Texan paused and said, "Yep, it's purty, but it doesn't hold a candle to the TEXAS HILL COUNTRY in springtime."

St. Peter then took the Texan to a beautiful white beach, with gentle waves, and an azure sky. "Now have you seen anything this beautiful in Texas?" asked St. Peter.

The Texan smiled and said, "I guess you've never ever been to SOUTH PADRE ISLAND".

At this point, St. Peter took the Texan to a large rock. On the side of the rock was a huge iron door. St. Peter opened the door and they stepped into an elevator and started going down.


As they descended, it grew hotter and hotter. When the elevator door opened, it revealed the fires of Hell. St. Peter said, "Now, have you got anything in Texas that can top that?"

The Texan thought a moment and shook his head. "Nope, I reckon not; but I know a couple of good old boys from HOUSTON that can put that thing out for you."

Honestly, I'm not sure anyone could have put out anything as hot as today was, and tomorrow is supposed to be even worse. I spent two weeks in Phoenix last summer, and I was never as miserably uncomfortable as I have been over the past couple days. Yes, August in Texas may not be Hell, but you can certainly see it from here....

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on August 6, 2003 7:19 PM.

Perhaps we should allow Republicans their aura of invincibility (for now) was the previous entry in this blog.

Let the carnage commence is the next entry in this blog.

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