Finally, things seem to be looking up. Rumor has it that Susan may be able to come home this afternoon. While I'm not holding my breath on that one, it's the first bit of good news that we've had in several days. She definitely seems to be feeling better, and the fear of this being a life-threatening situation seems to have passed. Of course, we still do not know what caused her illness, and there is the very real possibility that we may never know with any degree of certainty. What is clear is that Susan will be home-bound for awhile. The ophthamologist told her it could be 4-6 weeks before her double vision clears up, and since her job involves a great deal of driving, she likely won't be going anywhere any time soon. It sounds as if I may be going home for lunch quite a bit for the foreseeable future.
Susan is not out of the woods yet, not by any means, but she does seem better, and that has given us some hope, which is more than seemed possible a few days ago. When this all began, there was a very real concern for her life (granted, that concern may have existed solely in my own fear, but it was still there). Thankfully, that seems to have passed. Now I just want to get her home, but that decision is out of my hands.
I normally am reluctant to write about something so terribly and frighteningly personal. There just wan't anything else that I could possibly have written about, though. Nothing else seemed to matter. I also thought that perhaps this might give my readers an opportunity to discover a different side of me. Politics and human stupidity might be interests, but they are hardly the most important aspects of my life. Right now, in fact, anything outside of my family is the farthest thing from my mind. I just want my family back. Only then will I begin to feel as if anything else deserves the expenditure of any emotional capital- a commodity that is in very short supply at the moment.
I am exhausted- from fear, lack of sleep, and the uncertainty that accompanies watching a parade of doctors poke, prod, and squeeze my wife. I may be able to go back to work on Monday, but it's going to be awhile before I recover from this. In my worst unguarded moments, I was trying to determine what I would do without Susan. While it appears that she may never have been in that kind of danger, I didn't know that until yesterday, and the lack of information made it easy to fear the worst.
May I please bring her home now??
