September 29, 2003 6:17 AM

Another DUMASS AWARD wiener

MAN IN WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR ARRESTED FOR HAVING BOMB IN CAR (via Scott Chaffin)

DUMASS AWARD wiener #20: Earl Henry Woodruff

It seems our boy Earl had a wee bit too much time on his hands- and perhaps a few too many Shiner Bocks under his (garter) belt. Boys will be boys, eh??

Authorities say 40-year-old Earl Henry Woodruff of Van Buren was arrested about 5:00 a.m. yesterday after a deputy was sent to the reservoir. The deputy was sent out in response to a call about a parked vehicle occupied by a man wearing women's underwear.

Sergeant Daymon Blount of the Crawford County sheriff's office said that, when he arrived at the site, he found a man sitting asleep at the wheel of a sport-utility vehicle. Blount said the man was wearing a bra and women's thong panties. But he said the man pulled up a pair of jeans shorts -- which had been around his ankles -- when he was awakened.

In a search of the vehicle, Blount said he found a large plastic bottle wrapped in duct and electrical tape inside the front-seat console. A fuse about 13 inches long extended from a hole that had been drilled through the lid. Blount said he asked the man what the item was and was told, quote, "That's just a thing filled with gunpowder," unquote.

The deputy said the man said he made it to scare somebody and never intended to use it. Woodruff was on suspicion of criminal possession of explosives, possession of drug paraphernalia and indecent exposure and was released on ten-thousand dollars bond.

I'm sure there is a story somewhere in here, just dying to be told. Frankly, though, I'm not at all certain that I really want to hear it. Y'all should probably consider this a cautionary tale, though. Remember, kids, alcohol, explosives, and women's underwear just don't mix.

Nonetheless, this is truly the stuff that DUMASS AWARDS are made of. Congratulations, Earl, for keeping the award in Texas, where it all began.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Technorati

Technorati search

» Blogs that link here

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on September 29, 2003 6:17 AM.

More shameless self-promotion from the TPRS poster boy, #9 was the previous entry in this blog.

Burying your head in the sand is not an effective economic policy is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Contact Me

Powered by Movable Type 5.12