Police to charge man who survived plunge over Niagara Falls
He just looked calm. He just was gliding by so fast. I was in shock really that I saw a person go by.
- Brenda McMullen
He seemed a bit edgy, kind of jumping around. He walked over to where we were standing and he jumped and slid down on his backside and went over the brink. It was really freaky, actually. He was smiling.
- Lynda Satelmajer
Throughout recorded history, generations of men have struggled to answer the question, "How can I pull off a stunt just stupid enough to get my 15 minutes of fame, but not quite so stupid that I end up buying the farm and winning a Darwin Award posthumously?" Some misanthropes have turned their attention to Niagara Falls as a means to achieve their quest for fame (or infamy) and something resembling fortune.
Most normal, well-adjusted folks look at Niagara Falls and see a daunting and powerful entity whose supremacy is beyond question. Some maroons, though, look at Niagara Falls and think, "Hey, big deal. You get in a barrel, go over the falls, and in a few seconds it's over. No problemo....". You can bet that none of these folks were National Merit Scholars. (Natural selection at work, perhaps? Hmm....)
And then there is Kirk Jones....
NIAGARA FALLS, Ontario (AP) -- A man who survived a plunge over Niagara Falls with only the clothes on his back will be charged with illegally performing a stunt, Niagara Parks Police said Tuesday.
Kirk Jones, 40, of Canton, Michigan, is the first person known to have gone over the Canadian Horseshoe Falls without safety devices and lived. He could be fined $10,000.
Stunned tourists described seeing Jones float by on his back Monday in the swift Niagara River, go headfirst over the churning 180-foot waterfall and then pull himself out of the water onto the rocks below....
Jones was not seriously injured and remained hospitalized in Niagara Falls in stable condition.
Police said they were ruling out the possibility it was a suicide attempt.
"We're investigating it as an intentional act," Niagara Parks Police Inspector Paul Fortier said.
He said psychological tests were being conducted at the hospital.
Fortier said police have a videotape of the act that they believe was made by someone who accompanied Jones. That person has not been charged.
Water rushes over the falls at a rate of 150,000 gallons per second.
Only one other person is known to have survived a plunge over the Canadian falls without a barrel or other contraption -- a 7-year-old boy who was wearing a life preserver when he fell into the water in a 1960 boating accident.
No one has ever survived a trip over the narrower and rockier American falls.
Since 1901, 15 daredevils have taken the plunge in barrels or other devices, including a kayak and a water jet-powered personal watercraft. Ten survived, said Niagara Falls historian Paul Gromosiak, who has written books on the subject.
Suicides are not uncommon at Niagara Falls, although police are reluctant to give numbers.
I was at Niagara Falls last summer, and let me tell you, NO amount of beer would have given me the courage to go over the Falls in ANY shape, manner, or form. I'm just a wee bit too conscious of my own mortality. Jeez, if I'm feeling like testing the bounds of my own mortality, I'd just ask Susan if she wants to engage in some spouse-swapping or some other similar madness. I'm guessing my life expectancy at that point would be, oh, about 15 seconds (if I was lucky)- and I'd deserve it.
For going where no man has dared (or probably wanted) to go before, for doing the previously unimaginable, for being off his medication for WAY too long, for staring death in the face and laughing maniacally, Kirk Jones has clearly proven that he is made of sterner stuff than your normal everyday dumbass. No, Kirk Jones is truly the stuff of DUMASS AWARD legend. Wear your crown with pride Mr. Jones; that and the Thorazine might just be the only thing keeping you company in your padded Canadian holding cell.
