Yes, it's a palm tree. Ah, but that is only half the story, for this is no ORDINARY palm tree. This is MY palm tree. It was a gift from Susan, who recognizes (but clearly does not share) my attachment. Susan and I have this argument with surprising regularity, but I love the silly things. Actually, it goes well beyond simple love- I ADORE palm trees. Perhaps if you'd grown up in the Great White Frozen Wasteland that is northern Minnesota you'd understand my allegedly unnatural affinity for palm trees.
Susan hates palm trees; silly wabbit that she is, she thinks that they're not native to the Houston area, which may well be true. To that, however, I have but one response: WHO CARES?? I love palm trees, and copperheads, and water moccasins, and alligators. Why, you ask? Well, it's because all of those things are native to warm, tropical climates- and they're things that you will never find in Minnesota. Come on; have you ever seen an alligator with frostbite? I didn't think so.
No, one of the first things I discovered when I moved to the Texas Gulf Coast was that palm trees and snow drifts are mutually exclusive. Where you find one, you WILL NOT find the other. Period. End of story. Good night, game over, drive home safely. I look at my palm tree in our back yard, and I know that there will be no snow drifts collecting there this winter. With any luck, though, there will be a plethora of birdie putts.
So, while Andy and Natalie are freezing their cute li'l tushies off this winter, I'll be basking in the comforting aura of my palm tree. Then I'll go out and play golf while all y'all are shovelling your driveways.
Life's a bitch, ain't it??
