First, we bomb them into submission. Then we subjugate their political institutions to our whims. Finally, we bring in the fast food joints. Voila!!...our complete and utter dominance is established.
BAGHDAD -- Welcome to Iraq, home of the Whopper.
Deep inside Baghdad International Airport, past a vehicle search, a body search and four checkpoints, soldiers are lined up for burgers and fries. They have come by plane from Mosul, 220 miles north, for onion rings. They have picked up Chicken Royale sandwiches while picking up buddies flying back from a two-week home leave. They have begged and borrowed Humvees, making up any excuse for a trip to the airport and a reminder of what the pink mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise oozing from a fresh Whopper tastes like.
"It tastes like home, yes it does," said Staff Sgt. Mark Williams, 50, from Pittsburgh, after tearing off a chunk of his Whopper with cheese.
The former Saddam International Airport now houses Iraq's first Burger King. Part creature comfort, part therapy for homesick troops, its sales have reached the top 10 among all Burger King franchises on Earth in the five months since it opened. The shiny metal broiler spits out 5,000 patties a day.
That's right; what we can't conquer immediately and outright, we'll do gradually by clogging the arteries of our enemy. They won't know what hit them, and they'll go out fat and happy. Ah, cultural imperialism...the gift that keeps on giving!!
