November 28, 2003 6:10 AM

AND he won by a landslide....

Turkeys of the Year: The worst flock-ups of 2003, starting with Big Tom himself (via Yellow Dog Blog- the official weblog of the Texas Democratic Party)

Tom DeLay may be a troll and a demagogue, but I realize that some of y'all may be tiring of me beating on the dead horse that is the Sainted Congressman from my district. So, in the interest of fair play, I've decided to bring in another voice, in this case Richard Connelly of the Houston Press, who clearly is in a gift-giving mood:

The onset of the holiday season always brings a rush of warm feelings, of giving thanks for the blessings that have been bestowed on us all year.

For some people, at least. For us it brings on an end-of-the-year accounting of all the things that have tripped our trigger, made our eyes roll or just annoyed the living hell out of us. Thanksgiving is a time for turkeys, so here are the Turkeys who have been gobbling madly around us in Houston this year.

Top Turkey of the Year - Tom DeLay

Texas has had six flags flying over it, as every amusement-park attendee knows. The flags include those of France, Spain, the Confederate States of America and our very own Republic of Texas.

Now it flies under a seventh. As 2003 has proved, we are now living in a country named -- like Afghanistan or Uzbekistan -- after the most influential part of the population. Like Turkmenistan, this new country is ruled by a powerful warlord. (The CIA World Factbook says Turkmenistan's president "retains absolute control over the country and opposition is not tolerated.")

Welcome, then, to DeLayistan -- where absolute control is retained and opposition is not tolerated.

DeLayistan's flag honors both the hardball nickname and former bug-exterminating career of its potentate, Tom DeLay: It features a hammer smashing a roach. In a nod to the wacky religious extremism that led DeLay to denounce Baylor University as unacceptably liberal because it didn't dismiss out-of-hand the whole evolution thing, the flag's hammer resembles a cross. (Oh, and the roach is wearing a Democratic National Committee T-shirt. Sure, it's kind of a busy design for a flag, but DeLay's an ayatollah, not a graphic design artist.)

In forming this new country, in ridding Texas of its nasty decades-long habit of democracy, Tom DeLay of Sugar Land has earned the coveted title of the Houston Press Turkey of the Year.

Life in DeLayistan can take some adjusting for those who are used to the free and easy ways of countries like, say, America.

Texans are not alone in coming under the DeLay thumb, of course. Residents of Florida still shudder in horror at the memory of the Semi-Well-Behaved White-Collar Hordes DeLay bused down to county election offices in the wake of the 2000 presidential vote, demonstrating for George W. Bush and the right to think Ann Coulter makes sense. Residents of California have had their own foreign puppet installed.

Here in what used to be known as Texas, DeLay snapped his fingers and his minions obeyed -- holding not one, not two, but three special sessions to push through a redistricting plan that nobody but Tom DeLay wanted. (For what it's worth, the plan previously in place had been supported by the GOP over Democratic objections.)

When even the Republicans couldn't agree, DeLay came in and "mediated" a solution -- while the governor was out of state. Reports that the "negotiations" consisted entirely of legislators asking, "How far would you like me to take it up the ass, Mr. DeLay?" are quite possibly an exaggeration.

"He wielded enormous influence and he was very persistent and stayed with it through to the end," one lobbyist says, wanting anonymity even while stating what was obvious to pretty much everyone in Austin.

So get used to life in DeLayistan. Border checkpoints will ensure each arriving car has a Bible, a concealed weapon and a "Rush Is Right" bumper sticker.

You see, I always try to find something nice to say about someone, but it would appear that I am not the only one struggling to hold DeLay in anything but contempt. The problem here is that Tom DeLay is all about Tom DeLay. What it comes down to is that DeLay will do whatever it takes to maintain power and increase it whenever possible. He's not called "The Hammer" because he helps little old ladies across the street.

And yet, the man keeps getting re-elected, which only goes to prove that sometimes demagoguery is it's own reward.

If this isn't enough for you, DeLay's PAC also appears to have some serious issues (I'm shocked!):

Texas grand jury's investigation of House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's political action committee

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on November 28, 2003 6:10 AM.

So she's not a "Compassionate" Conservative? was the previous entry in this blog.

Just in case y'all were looking for somone else to hate is the next entry in this blog.

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