Dumbasses come in many shapes, colors, and sizes. This one almost defies description. In fact, the only reason she didn't get a DUMASS AWARD is that I don't have her real name. She certainly meets the minimum qualifications.
Dear Prudence,
I have been dating a wonderful man for the last three months. We are completely in love, and he treats me like royalty. He even likes my kids. The problem? He recently told me he is a registered sex offender and was in prison for molesting his then 9-year-old daughter. This was over 15 years ago, and he has not been accused/caught/arrested again. The real dilemma for me is that I have seven children, ranging in age from a teenager to a toddler. I really love this man and want him in my life, but I fear I am putting my youngest in danger by allowing him in the house. I do not leave him alone with the children and have to date observed no inappropriate behaviors. I want to believe that this was a horrible incident in his past and no repeats will occur. I really want to trust this man. I think we could have a wonderful life together if given a chance, but at the same time, I fear I am sitting on a time bomb. Can it have been a onetime thing, or am I just being naive? Please help as I need to make a decision soon to avoid prolonging things if I decide to end it.—Confused
"I really want to trust this man".... Hello, the guy's a registered sex offender!! Do you have ANY idea what the recidivism rate is for child sex offenders? Obviously NOT. What in the world are you thinking??
Thankfully, I suppose, Prudence is a bit more objective:
Dear Con,
Prudie would like to be encouraging, but the odds are not good. Pedophilia is an aberrant sexual behavior where the possibility of a "cure" is statistically minuscule. The 15-year record is somewhat hopeful—if true—but that is counterbalanced by the presence of your kids. The temptation has to be great. It is good that, so far, you have been able to never leave him alone with the children, but you cannot live a life that way. There is a slim possibility he orchestrated the romance in order to live with young children ... who but a saint would elect to take on a woman with seven kids? Your first step should be to discuss your fears openly. He was, after all, upfront about his past. This is a tough decision to make, but your best bet is to weigh your gut instinct with information about the disorder, as well as how this man talks about his illness. It's a gut-wrenching proposition to choose between offering someone a second chance and always looking over your shoulder. Good luck.—Prudie, objectively
Who but a saint (or a registered sex offender) would elect to take on a woman with seven kids?. The guy's probably thinking that he hit the jackpot (Merry Christmas to ME!!!).
Yes, I believe in the power of second chances, but you only have one family. Are you REALLY willing to take the chance that one of your children may become this guy's next victim? If you do stay with him, will this question ever be far from your mind? For your children's sake, I would certainly hope not.
