Theme warning: this is the portion of the show where Jack pisses and moans about all of the silly, insulting, and demeaning things that The Man is forcing him to deal with. Those of you with a weak stomach or a low tolerance for gratuitous bitching may want to change the channel to something a bit more tame- like the rerun of "When Tax Accountants Attack" on Fox. Thank you. You have been warned.
A couple of months ago, I got nailed for a speeding ticket. (Yes, it WAS something silly like doing 55.0196 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, but that's another story for another time.) If you want to have your speeding ticket dismissed here in the Great State of Texas, you have the option of having your time wasted and your intelligence insulted for six hours.
I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't learn anything. Still, I do have a problem with the way the whole thing was structured. I may have been able to read through a page of material in 15 seconds, but the program would require me to stay on the page for another 45 seconds. I realize that the program is geared toward an average student who (from all indications) may well be a knuckle-dragging mouth-breather, but what sense does it make to penalize someone for getting through the material faster than the average bear?
In addition, The final exam was a joke. I blew through the 20 questions in less than 90 seconds, missing only one question. If you're going to insult someone's intelligence for six hours, why not at least challenge them and make them think? Y'all just wasted my time for six hours and made off with my money (yeah, who's the dummy now??); couldn't you have at least made it worth my while?
When I was finished, I was given the opportunity to spread the love. **Snicker** Don't worry, y'all; you will NOT be getting the following email from me:
Subject: DefensiveDriving.com 100% on the Internet
From: locomotivebreath@yahoo.com
To:
Hi,
I'd like to tell you about DefensiveDriving.com, the web site I found that lets you take a state approved defensive driving course 100% on the Internet. Here are some key points to consider:
* Approved by all courts in Texas
* Dismiss a traffic ticket
* Reduce insurance rates
* Obtain your driver record
* Become a safer driver
* Taken 100% on the Internet: never leave the comfort of your home or office
* Flexible- The course can be taken in 10-minute intervals or all at once
* Convenient- The course can be taken anywhere you have Internet access
* Certificate of Completion- US Mail or UPS is available
* Technical Support- Toll free, available 24-hours a dayRemember, when the judge tells you to take a defensive driving course, the judge just told you to take DefensiveDriving.com.
Check out their site and see for yourself:
http://www.DefensiveDriving.com/ddo/index.html?friend=1 Let me know what you think!Thanks,
Joe Knuckle Dragger
I'd like to apologize to She Who Endures My Myriad Eccentricities for acting as if I wanted to bite the heads off kittens for the past three nights. That was no act....
