Man Removes Penis With Machete
I thought maybe it was people hunting and that it was part of a rabbit. Then my son saw it and said no...that it was part of a man. I thought maybe this was a jealous rage or a wife upset. I never thought that a man could do this to himself- at least not one in his right mind.
- Virgilio Maldonado
I know, I know...no more severed-penis stories. I promised- and I meant it. Really, I did. This time, though, I REALLY mean it. REALLY. Besides, this sad story should serve as a cautionary tale to those of you who might fail to recognize the inherent dangers of do-it-yourself circumcision.
Officers say a man was in a rage and cut off part of his penis. He then walked over a mile for help.
Virgilio Maldonado found the body part.
He says as soon as he set foot on his job site, off of 6 Mile Line and Conway, he spotted a long trail of blood leading inside.
"It was a shock when we found the bloody machete and the man's penis next to it on a bag of concrete."....
Around the same time, Oscar Hernandez stumbled into the Alton Police Department pleading for help. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital bleeding heavily from his groin.
It wasn't until a half hour later that officers realized that Hernandez had cut himself - when doctors contacted them saying they were in dire need of the missing piece.
They launched a search, but luckily, Maldonado was already flagging down a patrolman to report the bizarre find.
"We told the police what we had discovered and he placed it in a bag with some ice."
A day later, Maldonado says he still can't believe Hernandez survived after severing his genitals.
Remember, kids...a good craftsman NEVER blames his tools- and having the proper tools doesn't hurt, either...oops, bad pun, 'cuz in this case it obviously hurt a whole lot, eh?? Something tells me Mr. DUMB@$$, er, Hernandez, won't be standing up to pee for awhile....
Even if you have the proper tool for the job, it's not going to do you any good unless you have been trained in the proper use of said tool. Clearly, Mr. Hernandez is in need of some remedial training.
Police now say Hernandez was not in his right mind. They claim he is mentally unstable and may have been off of his medication at the time.
Duh...and what was your first clue, officer??
'Course, most of our DUM@$$E$ are off their medication at the time of their leap into infamy. It's what makes them DUMB@$$E$, no??
