January 22, 2004 5:06 AM

Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener

Speaker throws egg, misses mayor pro tem

DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener #58: Robert Horton

Mama always taught me that if you don't have anything good to say, well, you probably shouldn't say anything at all. Obviously, our latest DUMB@$$ didn't get Mama's memo.

You've got to love the First Amendment, but there are some people who quite honestly need to be heavily medicated (and checked for poultry products) before being allowed to speak in a public forum. Robert Horton would be Exhibit A.

A man who routinely speaks at the Houston City Council's public-speaker sessions punctuated his message Wednesday by hurling an egg at Mayor Pro Tem Carol Alvarado.

Robert Horton, who almost every week delivers angry diatribes on general topics such as "guilty" lawmakers, evil and injustice, was quickly surrounded by police after the egg splattered on the wall behind Alvarado.

He did not explain why he threw the egg....

Horton regularly signs up to speak at the public sessions, in which residents can address the council on issues of their choosing. He often appears agitated or angry, but his harangues rarely focus on specific accusations.

"Lawmakers, all councils around the world, are frauds," he shouted during his speech Wednesday. "I'm the one who leads everything, controls everything. There won't be no peace unless you free me."

Authorities had little information about Horton. Criminal records show he was convicted of criminal trespass in June and possession of marijuana in May, but they do not indicate whether he was fined or sent to jail.

"He's been coming for the last two years," Councilman Mark Goldberg said. "His words have taken on an angrier tone each week. Up to this point, his threats were taken lightly, but I think he has demonstrated he has a violent nature that can lead him to take violent action."

When last I checked, currently City Hall security procedures generally don't account for people who conceal poultry products (Is that a dozen eggs, or are you just glad to see me??). So what happens next? If you come up with a system to keep out the eggs, what's going to stop people from throwing Chicken McNuggets? Or Whoppers? Or even embarrassing personal hygiene products? Unless you put all public officials behind security glass, there will always be those fools, like DUMB@$$ Robert Horton, who will find their projectiles in places you and I might not consider.

Of course, in our post-9.11, heavily-security-conscious world, you'd think that you could simply ban Mr. DUMB@$$...er, Horton...from future City Council meetings. Mayor Bill White, though, isn't high on that idea.

"There are legal issues and First Amendment issues we have to respect," he said. "We want an open and accessible system."

True enough. Besides, City Hall should be a safer place in a few days. That's when the new poultry products detectors will be installed.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 22, 2004 5:06 AM.

Not exactly a terrific resume, is it?? was the previous entry in this blog.

Sure, it's funny, but it really isn't is the next entry in this blog.

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