Working and living well "outside the Loop" as I do, I don't often get into Houston. I like my small town life, and Houston is a bit too crowded and a bit too big for my tastes. Still, there are some things you can find in Houston that just aren't available out here in the hinterlands- like Central Market, f'rinstance.
Having lived and and worked overseas, I've seen what socialized economies can do to the people they supposedly serve. I can remember walking through a Serbian "supermarket", seeing nothing but empty shelves, and wondering what it was that made Communism so appealing. Even though, strictly speaking, Yugoslavia was nominally a "democracy", it was still an economic basket case, and empty shelves are no fun at all.
No such problems here in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Well-Fed, though. I may HATE shopping, but I LOVE upscale grocery stores. There is something about having 15 varieties of olives available to make one appreciate the values of a functioning capitalist economy (and I HATE olives...). Choices, choices, and more choices...man, it's a yuppie fantasy writ large.
She Who Tolerates My Myriad Eccentricities normally does the grocery shopping, because turning me loose with a debit card and a shopping list means I'm stocking up for the Apocalypse (just ask her about what happened last Sunday). Four bottles of ketchup? Can one EVER have too much ketchup?? My philosphy is "Why should we ever run the risk of running out?" At Central Market, not only would I need two shopping carts, I'd need a second job, another refrigerator/freezer, and a pantry three or four times the size of our current one. Hell, I'd probably have to rent a shipping container and put it in the back yard. Yeah, THAT would go over well....
There is something intoxicating about having 15 varieties of freshly-baked bread to choose from. Ten-grain? Sourdough? Rye? Irish Soda Bread? Tomato and Basil? Russian Black Rye? Who says carbohydrates are a bad thing?? Not me, y'all.
Of course, to go with the bread you're going to want some apples and cheese, no? Good luck. Cheese? How about Gouda? Swiss? Havarti? Monterey Jack? Any of eight types of Cheddar? And then there are the types I've not only never heard of, but neither can I pronounce? While I'm a fairly adventurous gastronome, I generally make it a practice to avoid things I can't pronounce. Eating in Third World countries will instill that in you if you're not sufficiently careful (WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT WAS A LAMB'S EYE??).
Apples? Good Lord, don't even get me started on that one. I grew up thinking that an apple was an Apple. It was red, it was round, it was sweet- period, end of story. Yeah, right. She Who Endures My Myriad Eccentricities noticed me wandering aimlessly through the apple section, and she finally led me away gently as I was mumbling something along the lines of "Gala? Fuji? Granny Smith? How the hell is anyone supposed to choose?"
Truly, I don't even want to know how much we spent at Central Market yesterday. I could get used to this. Of course, the bad thing is that it's in Houston, a good 35 miles away, and, yes, the good thing that it is in Houston.... If one of these monstrosities is ever opened in the Clear Lake area, they're going to have to have a restraining order issued on me. Either that, or I really WILL have to get that second job....
