January 21, 2004 6:55 AM

"Put Your Smile On. Company's Coming!"

Campaign touts city's friendliness

There is no better PR for a city, no better way to change a city's image, than by word of mouth. We can always improve our image. Houston can do a better job of showing itself for what it is: We are the friendliest big city in the United States.

- Houston Mayor Bill White

OK, now the silliness has officially begun. The rush is on to remake Houston into a Texas paradise, so that all of those well-heeled high-rollin' types will never want to leave once the Super Bowl is over.

Accordingly, I've decided that my family is going to do our part. Beginning immediately, the following steps will take place in our househould:

  • For the next two weeks, ALL of us will be wearing shoes- no exceptions.
  • The trailer gets a new coat of paint tomorrow.
  • That '69 Ford Fairlane that's up on blocks in the front yard has GOT to go.
  • The gunrack comes off my truck this morning.
  • That three-legged dog we've been feeding goes to the pound.
  • All of us will be showering at least twice a week- whether we need it or not.
  • I promise to wear my dentures...after all, if I'm going to be smiling more, I needn't be showing off those missing teeth, eh??
  • No raw meat will be thrown to the dog until AFTER Super Bowl Sunday
  • Earl will be dismantling the still in the backyard this afternoon...after all, the smell of sour mash permeating through the neighborhood certainly won't help Houston's image any, will it??
  • Until February 2nd, we'll be trading in our Brooks Brothers overalls for Stetsons and boots.
  • No Armadillo Roadkill feasts until the visitors leave town, honey.

Hey, we all have a part to play, right? We wouldn't want our visitors thinking that we're a bunch of uncouth rednecks with an inbreeding problem, would we??

SMILE, DAMNIT!!! If Bubba can do it, so can you....

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 21, 2004 6:55 AM.

Well, it's not news, but it's as close as we're likely to get for awhile was the previous entry in this blog.

Time to pay for your irresponsibility.... is the next entry in this blog.

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