Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product." (1st place winner)
So just how stupid (and/or litigious) does corporate America think your average American is? Judging by some of these warning labels, someone probably thinks most of us have scabs on our knuckles. Of course, we ARE smart enough to try and sue companies who we perceive as having wronged us, however imperceptibly.
That warning is the first place winner of the 2004 Wacky Warning Label Contest. The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, a group whose goal is to show that the fear of frivolous lawsuits has led to a loss of corporate common sense, sponsors the annual contest for the wackiest warning labels.
"Wacky warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," Robert B. Dorigo Jones, president of the nonprofit Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch group, said in the news release announcing the contest winners. "It used to be that if someone spilled coffee in their lap, they simply called themselves clumsy. Today, too many people are calling themselves an attorney."
Second place: On a snow sled: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."
Third place: On a 12-inch-high storage rack for compact discs: "Do not use as a ladder."
Fourth place: A 5-inch fishing lure with three nasty steel hooks advises it is "Harmful if swallowed." Too bad fish can't read!
Indeed, because the next thing you know, Johnnie Cochran will be filing an amicus brief on behalf of the fish, who would be suing the lure manufacturer for damages.
On the one hand, it's easy to laugh at this, because it is humorous in a certain context. It is, however, a very real problem that costs all of us a lot of money in the form of higher prices. SHOULD McDonald's have been suing for making hot coffee?? Or should the litigant have accepted some responsibility for the manner in which he or she was transporting said hot coffee? Where malicious disregard for public safety is evident, our legal system SHOULD offer redress. However, when a company is being sued for something that stems largely from a consumer's own ignorance or irresponsibility, they should be laughed out of the courtroom- only because it's too difficult to charge them with filing a frivolous lawsuit.
Certainly, some of the other warning labels in this article are funny, but they are also a sad commentary on our collective ambulance-chasing mentality. Of course, slapping a company with a lawsuit sure beats the hell out of taking responsibility for your actions, doesn't it?? Besides, lawyers LOVE companies with deep pockets.
