Teacher, student naked in car: S.F. police arrest 30-year-old woman in park with boy, 14
Well, uh, officer...you see, what happened was....um, I was just teaching him how to drive a stick shift. Yeah, THAT'S what I was doing.
This story really should be accompanied by Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher" as background music. Would that be tacky? It would? OK, then...my bad....
A 30-year-old San Francisco schoolteacher faces lewd conduct charges after being caught naked in a car after school with a 14-year-old Luther Burbank Middle School student, authorities said Friday.
At 5:30 p.m. Thursday, patrol officers driving in an area of McLaren Park known for drugs and prostitution spotted a car with steamed windows, suggesting either drug or sexual activity, according to Capt. Frank O'Malley of the Police Department's Juvenile Division.
Upon checking the car, which was parked at John F. Shelley Drive and Cambridge Street, officers found Nieka Arreola and the unidentified student, who worked as an aide in a classroom at Luther Burbank, undressed in the car. Arreola reportedly told police she was giving the boy a ride home. She was booked on three counts with lewd and lascivious acts on a minor.
Of course, what Ms. Arreola forgot to tell the officers was that she was in fact giving the student a ride home, but that he lives in a nudist colony. As for the windows being steamed up...hey, it's San Francisco in winter time. If you're driving someone home to a nudist colony, and you're naked, you're going to get cold, no? Of course, that being the case, you're probably going to have the heater on high.
Well, there is the more logical explanation, which would be that Ms. Arreola mistakenly thought that she was supposed to be teaching a Sex Ed class, and she was tutoring a student who was having problems keeping up (no pun intended...) with the material. Something about handling a stick shift or some such thing....
OK, OK...enough silliness. I realize the gravity of the situation, the broken trust, the lost innocence, yada yada yada.... No, we don't want our teenage children having sex with their teachers. After all, that's what Prom Night is for, no?? Oh, right, I promised I was going to be serious. (Insert appropriate righteous indignation here.)
When I was in 10th grade, I wanted to do my homeroom teacher in the worst way. Not that I would have had any idea of what to do, of course, but my point is that this is a normal teenage fantasy for most boys. Of course, it takes a DUMB@$$ to blur the line between fantasy and reality. I guess that is where Ms. Arreola comes in. What, you couldn't get a hotel room?? For that alone, Ms. Arreola has demonstrated that she is eminently worthy of being considered a DUMB@$$. Congratulations, and enjoy your DUMB@$$ AWARD- because where you're headed it's the closest you're going to get to a teenage boy.
