The dream: 9 dogs, 9 beers, 9 innings
I suppose this is what happens when guys leave their wives and families behind and head off to Spring Training.
After witnessing the heroic run by Charlie the Cub Fan, there was no question that a batch of Pepcid AC should be within both Charlie's reach AND his grasp -- or what's an acid reflux attack for?
The word spread across the grassy outfield berm like word of the bad acid at Woodstock. It couldn't be true, could it?
Four innings in, he was on target. It was the opposite of a no-hitter. Everyone knew it, and everyone spoke of it, the hope being that the stout lad would feel the love.
After five innings though, it became apparent that the only thing Charlie felt was a heinous wave of nausea, and utter despair at the task he had taken on.
Two unexpected factors had created Everest-sized obstacles for Charlie. One, the Arizona day was a veritable microwave, with mercury at 91 degrees. Two, the beer sold at Scottsdale Stadium came in 16-ounce bottles -- not 12.
Hmm.... Some people drive fast cars. Some people jump out of airplanes. Some even bungee-jump off bridges. Charlie? Well, Charlie's a glutton and a dumbass. Gee, doesn't THAT sound like fun??
