Jesus Demands Creative Control Over Next Movie
Jeez, can you blame the guy? After having Mel Gibson turn the story of your demise into an absolute gorefest, wouldn't you want to have control over how your story is told?
HOLLYWOOD, CA—After watching Mel Gibson's The Passion Of The Christ Monday, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ announced that He will demand creative control over the next film based on His life.
"I never should have given Mel Gibson so much license," said Christ, the Son of God. "I don't like to criticize a member of the flock, but that close-up of the nails being pounded into My wrists—that was just bad."
Rumors circulating through Hollywood have the Son of God in serious negotiations with Paramount for a Lord Of The Rings-style trilogy. Jesus has to date expressed no preference over who plays Him in the films, but insiders are saying that it will come down to a choice between Steve Buscemi, Alec Baldwin, or Dave Chappell.
