Sometimes, what you're looking for really is right in front of you

Perfect Dog, Please Call Me: In which our columnist seeks the ideal canine who will adore his very being, maybe make dinner

While Mark Morford is heavily engaged in looking for the perfect dog, I can thankfully say that we have found ours. Allow me to present Salem The Wonder Dog:

Salem, in my humble opinion, is hands-down the world's best dog. Gottaproblemwiddat??