Appalling 75pc Gold-Plated Versace Flatware Set: Let the world know you have arrived... somewhere (via mopsa)
Want to make an impression this Thanksgiving? Looking to impress your family and friends with cheap, gratuitous displays of conspicuous consumption? This would seem a good place to start, eh?
There are many reasons you might wish to purchase the 75-piece set of amazingly heinous gold-plated Versace flatware I've recently come to possess through no fault of my own.
Perhaps you are an angry gay attorney with a lot of disposable income, desperately searching for a collection of cutlery to complement the glossy black dining table, blue sofa and neon waterfall in your tastelessly decorated domain.
The gold-plated Versace demitasse spoon suits any espresso, and would undoubtedly add a sophisticated accent to your endless bitching about the building staff and delivery menus left at your door. And, there are eight of them. With great spoons come great friends, goes the saying. Your acquisition of gold-plated Versace flatware could be the first step in acquiring a posse of mean-spirited dandies to love you for who you really are....
Overnight Hip-Hop success? Firstly, let me congratulate you on parlaying a fascination with vice, three gunshot wounds, and a history of felonies into a career. You know as I do that one must not only represent, but one must represent with style. Style is not just gold teeth, gold chains, gold rims and gold car antennas, my friend. Style is also gold-plated Versace flatware.
The late-night recording sessions are draining, G. To keep pace and deliver more phat raps about whores and liquor, you're going to need sustenance. That sustenance is cake. And cake, my G, is best served with a gold-plated Versace cake server. What your entourage does with the remaining 74 cutlery pieces is unimportant. What matters is getting your cake on with class.
Hey, come on now; it's not easy being rich, venal, and shallow. Then again, someone's got to do it, eh??
