Denver, Baghdad pairing a surprise
When the White House announced a new round of "sister city" pairings this past week, there were a few surprises....
DENVER -- When the White House announced this week that Denver's new sister city was Baghdad, bus driver Michael Duran wondered whether he'd end up with an Iraqi pen pal.
Gerardo de Herrera wondered whether Baghdad would celebrate Cinco de Mayo, one of Denver's biggest festivals.
Officials at City Hall just wondered. The prospect of sending humanitarian aid to the Iraqi capital came as a surprise to Denver officials. Denver is facing a multimillion-dollar budget deficit.
"No proposal has been given to us," said Lindy Eichenbaum Lent, a spokeswoman for Mayor John Hickenlooper.
Buried in the White House statement was the rather unexpected news that Seabrook is now the sister city of Najaf, Iraq. Mayor Robin Riley's office declined to issue a statement. A spokemen said the Mayor would have no comment until he had seen the text of the proclamation before determining whether or not to organize all males in Seabrook between the ages of 18-45 into a militia for the defense of the city.
When contacted in Najaf, the head of the Mahdi Army, Imam Moqtada al-Sadr, stated that he had been hoping all along to be paired up with a quiet little fishing town on the Texas Gulf Coast. Al-Sadr, an avid fisherman, has already been invited to visit Seabrook as a guest of the Bay Area Chapter of the Martyr's Society.
Al-Sadr also stated that he sees the Seabrook-Najaf sister city relationship as the perfect opportunity to export violent Islamic fundamentalism to small-town America.
Of course, it is much easier to train martyrs for the cause in a quiet coastal town. The locals won't be paying much attention, and there is a good deal of land that will be available to train my Warriors of God. If the foreign American devils can export their corrupt version of godless "democracy" to Iraq, should I not be allowed the same opportunity to export my philosophy of violent, xenophobic, fundamentalist Islamic martyrdom to America? Not only that, I'm looking for a good deal on a margarita machine.
Hold on, y'all.... It looks as life in my quiet little town is about to change- and it's NOT just because the Port of Houston is forcing the Bayport container terminal down our collective throats.
