Roger and Me: Why I hate the greatest pitcher of all time
It sounds as if someone has some seriously unresolved issues.
To: Roger Clemens
From: A Red Sox fan
Re: All-Star GameDear Roger Clemens,
Let me offer my hearty congratulations on starting the All-Star Game. Wow, that is really terrific. I'd like to note, however, that I hate you.
Also: You are fat. They say you've got this hard-core training regimen, with calisthenics and whatnot. I'm not seeing it. You're wicked fat.
Oh, perhaps that was uncalled for. You know what else was uncalled for? Sucking, every time it mattered. You ruined my childhood, fatty. Because the trauma you put me through as a young, impressionable Red Sox fan has stunted my emotional growth, I revert to a juvenile mind-set whenever I see you. Like repeatedly calling you fat.
1918...1918...1918...1918....
