July 17, 2004 8:09 AM

Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener

‘I Didn’t Cheat Anybody’: Martha Stewart Talks to Barbara Walters About Her Sentence

Martha Stewart may soon experience culinary changes. Say, what wine goes well with vulva?

- Graham Norton

I didn't cheat the little people. … We're all little people. I didn't cheat anybody out of anything.

- Martha Stewart

DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener #123: Martha Stewart

The walking, talking PR fiasco that is Martha Stewart has risen to new heights- or sunk to new depths, depending on your point of view. In the excerpt of the interview (You didn't think I'd actually watch the entire interview, did you??) that I saw on ABC News yesterday, she compared herself to Nelson Mandela (Roll tape...paraphrased with the sincerest of apologies to Lloyd Bentsen: "I knew Nelson Mandela, and you, madam, are no Nelson Mandela.") and said she was ready for prison because she enjoys camping.

Stewart said she hadn't given much thought to what her life behind bars would be like when asked how she would handle prison food, fellow inmates and strip searches. "I could do it," she said. "I'm a really good camper. I can sleep on the ground. … There are many, many good people who have gone to prison … look at Nelson Mandela."

Well, sure, but there is something that Ms. Stewart seems to be conveniently forgetting here. One, Nelson Mandela was a political prisoner- a prisoner of honor and conscience, not merely a common criminal. Two, prison is NOTHING like camping. Having worked in a military prison during my time as an Army Reserve officer, I can attest to the fact that prison life is to camping as Dick Cheney is to civil political discourse. What a silly f*****g moron....

For displaying arrogance, cluelessness, and a degree of insensitivity far above and beyond what someone of her obvious intelligence should normally be capable of, the Committee proudly bestows the latest DUMB@$$ AWARD upon Martha Stewart. Trust me, it will look fabulous hanging on the wall of her prison cell. Don't worry, there are no sharp corners, so Martha won't be able to use it as a weapon.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 17, 2004 8:09 AM.

This is what a wasted life looks like was the previous entry in this blog.

To be more accurate, it should really be a larger denomination is the next entry in this blog.

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