Tragedy struck the Athens Olympics today when famed Russian heavyweight penile weightlifter Alexei Alexeyev suffered a possible career-ending injury in the "clean and jerk". While attempting his third and final lift, a world record attempt at 251.5 kg, the bar slipped on the "clean" portion of the lift, making it impossible for Alexeyev to complete a smooth "jerk".
While it was unclear how severely Alexeyev injured himself, the Russian left the mat clearly in a great deal of pain and embarrassment. He later explained in a high-pitched voice that he would require several months of rehab in a Swedish massage institute. Beyond that, Alexeyev made no promises, saying only that "This may have been the final stroke...er, straw." He refused further comment, directing all questions to his Swedish nurse.
