Men within 30 miles of the blast will instantly turn queer!
Atef and Bin Laden spent many late nights together during that time of revolution.
One morning, I entered their living quarters and they had worked so hard the night before they had fallen into bed together, suffering from exhaustion.
That's when I saw the blueprints for the bomb. I asked about it, but Bin Laden said to leave it to the scientists. He and Atef had accidentally set one off the night before.
- anonymous ex-al-Qaeda member
It's ingenious, insidious, and it would wreak complete havoc in rural Texas....
EXTREMIST Muslim scientists are developing a bomb that turns anyone within a 30-mile radius of its blast into a homosexual, say U.S. Intelligence insiders.
It's all a part of the Al Qaeda master plan to pull our country apart and kill the patriotism that makes us strong. "
They believe that making more Americans gay will start civil war between gays and ultraconservatives," says one highly placed intelligence officer. "They also figure it will lead to a decrease in the U.S. population."
The Gay Bomb was already in the planning stages when Osama Bin Laden and close, intimate friend Muhammad Atef founded the international terrorist group Al Qaeda in 1989....
The explosive device is a foot long and shaped like a cigar with a pair of land mines at one end. Planes carrying the weapons will drop them on all major U.S. cities, except, of course, San Francisco, reveals the source.
The Gay Bomb will detonate the instant a heterosexual male steps on one of the mines, releasing potent waves of the female hormone estrogen into the air.
Within hours, heterosexual men will experience terrible urges like: "I'm dying to make out with my buddy in the next cubicle," and "I want a divorce from the witch I married," and "I wonder if I should redecorate the living room."
Michael Savage and Rush Limbaugh will be discovered in flagrante delicto after a torrid night of passion in their secret love nest. Dennis Hastert will be caught wearing nothing but tube socks in the company of that hunky football player who just happens to be serving as his summer intern. Yes, rich, white, Republican males will see their mores shredded as they chase and ultimately succumb to their deepest, darkest carnal urges.
Oh, the humanity....
