As I reported on Tuesday, what had once been merely rumors of lesbian activity at the Olympic beach volleyball venue became reality in the wake of the women's Gold Medal match. As Misty May and and Kerrie Walsh rolled lovingly in each other's sweaty embrace on the sands of the volleyball court, the moment was already being recorded for the upcoming video, "Olympic Beach Babes Out Of The Closet". This groundbreaking video, produced by the same folks who brought us the "Girls Gone Wild" series, promises to blow the lid off what REALLY happens at a women's beach volleyball tournament. When you bring together lithe, athletic young women in bikinis, suntan oil, and a few thousand randy young men, all bets are off.
Of course, not everyone was quite so excited about the upcoming release of "Olympic Beach Babes Out Of The Closet". Texas Congressman Tom DeLay held a press conference in his Capitol Hill office to denounce the video, saying, "It is immoral and unconscionable that these lithe, attractive, athletic, oiled young women are being used for the sexual gratification of men. Have we no shame?" (Uh, Tom? You're drooling....) Of course, it was widely suspected that DeLay was milking the controversy for political mileage, since the producers of "Olympic Beach Babes..." disclosed later that DeLay's chief-of-staff had already pre-ordered a dozen copies of the DVD.
Meanwhile, organizers from the 2008 Beijing Games announced that the women's beach volleyball tournament in Beijing would be clothing-optional and would be held at the Golden Dragon Men's Club. The competition will also feature an audience participation component. The fans will get to vote on the two competitors they would most like to see in a post-competition hot oil wrestling match. Organizers admitted that they are willing to pull out all the stops in order to ensure the sell as many tickets as possible.
IOC President Jaccques Rogge refused comment on this development, but reporters did notice that Rogge was flushed, his breathing was very rapid, and he was drooling uncontrollably.
