Little chance season opens Oct. 13
NHL stops, game goes on in Canada
It’s a dark day here in the Cluth household. [Editor’s note: just in case anyone hasn’t already figured this out, my pen name is an homage to the team I worshipped as a boy, the Minnesota North Stars. That ought to give you an indication of how much I look forward to hockey season every year.] The NHL has locked it’s players out, and the entire 2004-05 season can reasonably be held to be in grave danger. Of course, Susan and Eric could care less. They hate it when I’m watching hockey, anyway. At least Adam was nice enough to call and offer condolences. He understands what a black day this is for me. The season is supposed to begin October 13th; right now there is as much chance of that happening as there is of me being mistaken for Warren Sapp.
Once again, greed rules- same as it ever was. So, what are the issues, you ask? Let’s go to the tape (metaphorically speaking, of course):
Key issue: The owners desire “cost certainty” to have a direct connection between revenues and player costs. Owners say 75 percent of revenues are paid out to players, a number the players association disputes; the NHLPA views “cost certainty” to be tantamount to a salary cap. That is a system the union says it will never accept, and one it claims is the only solution the NHL will discuss.
Last negotiations: Sept. 9 in Toronto.
Next negotiations: None scheduled.
Season schedule: Training camps were due to open Thursday. The regular season is scheduled to start Oct. 13.
Last lockout: The 1994-95 season. It lasted 103 days and cut the regular-season schedule to 48 games per team that were played solely within each conference.
Last proposals: Owners, July 21, presented six concepts for a solution, but the players association said each contained the framework of a salary-cap system and rejected them all; union, Sept. 9, reworked proposal first offered in October 2003 that is based on four points: luxury tax, revenue sharing, a 5 percent rollback on all salaries, and changes to entry-level contracts. NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said the sides were “not speaking the same language.”
Yes, you read that correctly. The season is on the verge of going down the tubes, and the last proposal was made by the owners on July 21st. At this point, it’s become a testosterone-fueled test of wills (MINE IS BIGGER!!). Both sides are so locked into their positions that they are willing to forgo their livelihoods to make whatever point it is that they’re trying to make.
I do have a suggestion for solving this, and I’m betting that a deal would get done very quickly if my method was employed. It’s very simple, really- put Bob Goodenow and Gary Bettman into an un-airconditioned 6’ x 6’ room with no furniture, no bathroom, and a single bare heat lamp bulb for light. There is only one rule: no one leaves until a deal is done. Simple, eh? My plan’s simplicity should be just the ticket. I’m guessing that Bettman and Goodenow would last eight hours, tops.
Game on, eh?
Of course, my plan, simply elegant though it may be, will never see the light of day. This means, of course, that we are in for a protracted dispute while NHL players trek off to Europe in search of game checks. It’s going to be a long, cold winter, y’all.
Game on…ah, fuhgeddaboudit….
