Documents Reveal Gaps In Bush’s Service As President
With all of the attention focused on John Kerry’s Vietnam service record by various Republican attack groups, the crack research staff here at TPRS felt that it would be only fair to shift that same focus to George W. Bush. Alas, we forgot…Bush HAS no service record, although by all accounts he either did or did not serve with distinction in the National Guard. After all, why risk your @$$ flying over some god-forsaken, $&!#-soaked rice paddy when your daddy can pull some strings and get you a Guard slot.
OK, since Bush has no service record, the focus was shifted to his other service record- as President. Frankly, there ain’t enough lipstick to pretty up THAT pig….
WASHINGTON, DC— Freshly unearthed public documents, ranging from newspapers to cabinet-meeting minutes, seem to indicate large gaps in George W. Bush’s service as president, a spokesman for the watchdog group Citizens for an Informed Society announced Monday.
“We originally invoked the Freedom Of Information Act to request material relating to Bush’s spotty record while in office,” CIS director Catherine Rocklin said. “But then we realized that the information was readily available at the corner newsstand, on the Internet, and from our friends and neighbors who pay attention to the news.”
According to Rocklin, the most damning documents were generated at roughly one-day intervals during a period beginning in January 2001 and ending this week. The document’s sources include, but are not limited to, the U.S. newspaper The New York Times, the London-based Economist magazine, and the well-known international business and finance record, The Wall Street Journal.
“Factual data presented in these publications indicates that Bush took little or no action on issues as widely varied as the stalled economy, increasing violence in post-war Iraq, and the lagging public education system,” Rocklin said. “The newsprint documents also reveal huge disparities between the ways Bush claimed to have served Medicare patients, and what he actually did.”
Yes, it’s true…outside of getting us into a war to fight a non-existent (at least until we invaded) enemy in Iraq, and killing over 1000 young Americans, the record is a virtual tabula rasa. Of course, this would explain why his campaign stump speeches consist of little more than blatant and disingenuously twisting John Kerry’s words out of context.
If a sitting President has no record to run on, and a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? Really, all that’s left is character assassination, lies, and slander. It seems to be working for George W. Bush so far.
