If I were a bitter man, I'd post stuff like this...but I'm not, so I won't....oops....

Would our little neck of the woods be called "Lower Dumbfuckistan?"

Back when the Taliban was saying they would "crush" the United States there were a bunch of funny maps going around that showed the US in its post-Taliban-invasion configuration. Some of the notable place names were:

Arkastan

Oklahomabad

Mississippi-al-Sharif

The Democratic People's Republic of Kalifornia (Taliban wouldn't go there)

The Republic of Texas (we won)

It sure would be interesting to compare the number of college graduates in the red vs. blue states. Yikes, did I say that?

Man...and I thought I was bad! ;0)

I like this map, and do hereby request the expulsion of my state from the union...that's right, kick us out, toss us in the trash heap of history. California (and Oregon and Washington) can make its own tiny Republic.

Those GOPers don't want us anywhoo.

Re: Craniac - Don't you know that college graduates went for Bush over Kerry? (Kerry supporters were the majority among students and professors however)

Re: Sychotic1 - Please please free to secede the left(ist) coast. If successful, You won't have any gas to run your car since the greenies don't allow any refineries. But seccession won't be successful, the feds will clean your clock (which you should appreciate being pro Big Government.

I think the map and the term "Dumbfuckistan" are clever and funny.

Unfortunately the humor is ultimately based on the assumption that if a person doesn't vote blue, they are stupid and/or wrong.

I don't think that's the case (most of the time). And by and large I think the people have spoken.

So how does W "reach out" to a political segment that assumes anyone who voted for him is a dumbfuck. Furthermore, is such a political segment prevalent (or rational) enough to be worth reaching out to in the first place?

Actually, the blue states remain effectively contiguous if they join Canada. Maybe one of the Canadian flag's red fields could turn blue in recognition of their new citizens. Hey!--from a distance it would resemble a French flag, which would perpetually enrage the red states left behind--an added benefit.

The abandoned states (Dust Bowl + Cockroachland) would be free to call themselves whatever they liked. Someone has suggested Jesusland. I prefer "Fox Nation". "Mexico del Norte" has a nice ring to it. I hear "Confederate States of America" is available.

As Abe Lincoln says now: "Uh, sorry. My mistake after all."

Clearly, the meaning of satire is lost on y'all...feel free to lighten up any time....

And the spectacle of self-satirization is lost on others.

Actually, Rip, I think we'd be "Greater Dumbfuckistan"....

One man's satire is another man's insult.

I've been living in slightly east of the Rockies Dumbfuckistan for years. I have different names for it but Dumfuckistan is perfect. Happy to report that I will be escaping the red zone and relocating back to my home (blue) state next spring.

I think this name fits, and it's extremely important for us to use it as much as we can. First off, let's just face the facts: dumfuckistan is loaded with all kinds of people who we don't fancy as being as priveledged as ourselves. So fuck 'em!

As a left-winger, I have one fundamental principle that guides me in this life: people who disagree with me are inherently inferior, in every possible way. When I'm not damning The Bell Curve, I insist that my IQ is higher than those I disagree with.

We have to convince everyone that good left-wingers are the elite, and that's that. We're better than others. We're morally and intellectually superior, and there's no question about it. Anyone who would offer the slightest hesitancy to agree with me is just a fantatical, homophobic bigot. And I'm gonna keep on telling everyone until the whole world understands. And those who don't understand are unquestionably too stupid to understand.

I'm tired of diversity. The cliche worked good for a time, but we know now that the republicans have put blacks in more important positions than we have. Furthermore, blacks and hispanics are starting to vote for republicans in increasing numbers. I never did like "those people" all that much, but now that it appears that some of them aren't obediently supporting our candidates I think it's time for a radical solution.

Lincoln was wrong. He freed the slaves but now some of their descendants are voting republican. Just the kind of conspiracy you'd expect from Lincoln, who was a republican. Blacks were okay in the old days when they were kept ignorant and just voted the way we wanted. But now they are becoming more educated and asking pesky questions. Can we just ship them all away? The have no place in Blue America.

And mothers! What is there problem? They are moving more towards the GOP as well. Goddamned hetero breeders! What's wrong with them? If they keep this up there's just going to be more and more of them. We need to let these people know they have no place in our America.

I used to care a lot about the poor people. But what do I get in return from them? Besides, there's a lot of poverty in red America. But hey, not my fault. Fuck those poor people in rural America. Fuck them all.

An indians! My God, have you noticed how many indian reservations are in the red states? Those savages were okay when we could use their images and mis-quote there revered leaders in our environmental fund-raising schemes. But the redman lives in the red states. Fuck him, too!

Most importantly, coming out of this election it's quite clear that the left's political leaders have led us to a catastrophe. But I can't blame them and I certainly can't take a good look at myself. There's NO WAY that I could have been on the wrong side of an issue, it's inconceivable. So I make up outrageous charges and direct them towards people who aren't so easily duped by the things that dupe me. Dumfucks!

Furthermore, I like the idea of secession. I like it because it makes me think of cutting away something like a tumor. There's no room in America for people who disagree with me.

Most importantly, referring to vast swaths of the country as helpless dumfucks saves me the hassle of actually figuring out why they voted the way they did. To do so would mean me removing myself from my ideological cocoon. I don't want to do that. The way I see it, I can just cozy up to people who think exactly as I think. And we can charm each other with how brilliant we are, and laugh at the fools who think differently.

From there, we can cast aspersions towards the vast middle of the road that actually decides the elections in this country. And if we call them names and ridicule them we will probably greatly enhance our chances of winning in '08.

Talk about dumbfucks.

hey kunteh kintey! get a big black dog up you ya homo!!

The borders of Dumbfuckistan are not permanent, they will expand in 2006 and 2008.
Thanks.

I some in the US were not aware that the blue states hold the intellectuals, their standard bearers have made sure that they know now.

What with their nuanced cartoons that celebrate the blacks noble and cavernous nostrils, and their royally huge lips, they teach those idiots in the red states what's important. The dumbfucks in red have always had trouble getting past a person's education and accomplishments to see the color of their skin.

If some in the US were not aware that the blue states hold the intellectuals, their standard bearers have made sure that they know now.

What with their nuanced cartoons that celebrate the blacks' noble and cavernous nostrils, and their royally huge lips, they teach those idiots in the red states what's important. The dumbfucks in red have always had trouble getting past a person's education and accomplishments to see the color of their skin.

Popular vote in Blue states:

California: Kerry 5.4 million; Bush 4.4 million
Oregon: Kerry 890 K; Bush 823 K
Washington: Kerry 1.17 Mil.; Bush1.01Mil.
Illinois: Kerry 2.8 Mil.; Bush 2.3 Mil.
Michigan: Kerry 2.47 Mil.; Bush 2.30 Mil.
Minnesota: Kerry 1.4 Mil.; Bush 1.3 Mil.
Wisconsin: Kerry 1.488 Mil.; Bush 1.477 Mil.
Hawaii: Kerry 231K; Bush 194 K
Connecticut: Kerry 847 K ; Bush 646 K
D.C.: Kerry 183 K; Bush 19 K
Delaware: Kerry 199 K; Bush 171 K
Maine: Kerry 374 K ; Bush 317 K
Maryland: Kerry 1.2 Mil. ; Bush .9 Mil.
Massachusetts: Kerry 1.79 Mil.; Bush 1.06 Mil.
New Hampshire: Kerry 340 K. ; Bush 330 K
New Jersey: Kerry 1.79 Mil.; Bush 1.58 Mil.
New York: Kerry 3.98 Mil.; Bush 2.79 Mil.
Pennsylvania: Kerry 2.88 Mil. ; Bush 2.75 Mil.
Rhode Island: Kerry 247 K ; Bush 161 K
Vermont: Kerry 180 K; Bush 120 K

The results are similar for the Red states. What's my point? Blue States consist of many, many Bush voters and slightly more Kerry voters. Your contempt is misplaced. Seccesion would go very badly for you. I wouldn't advise it. Also, someone appears to have defecated where your brain used to be. I would advise you seek medical attention as soon as is possible. This could wind up causing you grief in other areas of your life if you don't get help.

Listen here Mr. "Kerry is Unelectable",

I'm not going to fall for your statistical shell game. I'm a blue stater, so I'm just smarter than you are. Face it. Your attempt to bring analysis into this is doomed to fail. I can't understand the significance of your data so it's inconceivable that you can.

I'm better than any red stater. And that's that. Live with it.

I love you John Masterson

JohnMasterson's post is worth repeating

"I think this name fits, and it's extremely important for us to use it as much as we can. First off, let's just face the facts: dumfuckistan is loaded with all kinds of people who we don't fancy as being as priveledged as ourselves. So fuck 'em!

As a left-winger, I have one fundamental principle that guides me in this life: people who disagree with me are inherently inferior, in every possible way. When I'm not damning The Bell Curve, I insist that my IQ is higher than those I disagree with.

We have to convince everyone that good left-wingers are the elite, and that's that. We're better than others. We're morally and intellectually superior, and there's no question about it. Anyone who would offer the slightest hesitancy to agree with me is just a fantatical, homophobic bigot. And I'm gonna keep on telling everyone until the whole world understands. And those who don't understand are unquestionably too stupid to understand.

I'm tired of diversity. The cliche worked good for a time, but we know now that the republicans have put blacks in more important positions than we have. Furthermore, blacks and hispanics are starting to vote for republicans in increasing numbers. I never did like "those people" all that much, but now that it appears that some of them aren't obediently supporting our candidates I think it's time for a radical solution.

Lincoln was wrong. He freed the slaves but now some of their descendants are voting republican. Just the kind of conspiracy you'd expect from Lincoln, who was a republican. Blacks were okay in the old days when they were kept ignorant and just voted the way we wanted. But now they are becoming more educated and asking pesky questions. Can we just ship them all away? The have no place in Blue America.

And mothers! What is there problem? They are moving more towards the GOP as well. Goddamned hetero breeders! What's wrong with them? If they keep this up there's just going to be more and more of them. We need to let these people know they have no place in our America.

I used to care a lot about the poor people. But what do I get in return from them? Besides, there's a lot of poverty in red America. But hey, not my fault. Fuck those poor people in rural America. Fuck them all.

An indians! My God, have you noticed how many indian reservations are in the red states? Those savages were okay when we could use their images and mis-quote there revered leaders in our environmental fund-raising schemes. But the redman lives in the red states. Fuck him, too!

Most importantly, coming out of this election it's quite clear that the left's political leaders have led us to a catastrophe. But I can't blame them and I certainly can't take a good look at myself. There's NO WAY that I could have been on the wrong side of an issue, it's inconceivable. So I make up outrageous charges and direct them towards people who aren't so easily duped by the things that dupe me. Dumfucks!

Furthermore, I like the idea of secession. I like it because it makes me think of cutting away something like a tumor. There's no room in America for people who disagree with me.

Most importantly, referring to vast swaths of the country as helpless dumfucks saves me the hassle of actually figuring out why they voted the way they did. To do so would mean me removing myself from my ideological cocoon. I don't want to do that. The way I see it, I can just cozy up to people who think exactly as I think. And we can charm each other with how brilliant we are, and laugh at the fools who think differently.

From there, we can cast aspersions towards the vast middle of the road that actually decides the elections in this country. And if we call them names and ridicule them we will probably greatly enhance our chances of winning in '08
Talk about dumbfucks."

I voted for Bush because I was that sick of the creepy Bush selected, Bush Hitler, Michael Moore wing of the Gore party.

Now I have to put up with four years of still more mindless crap. Yeah, real smart.

I miss Harry Truman so much.

Now, Jay. Please. You can't be serious.

You voted for Bush because you're an evil, incestuous, congenitally idiotic red-stater. And I'm going to keep saying that to you and anyone else who voted for Bush until you hear me.

Don't try to reason with me. You see, I'm right. About everything. So if you're sticking a bunch of words together and I don't like the outcome, well, the problem is you.

If you had the kind of sense that could only come from living in the blue urban cores, you'd have the sense to realize a number of things. The first thing we intellectual blue staters realize is that Bush is not only the worst president ever, he's the worst that could ever be! Only a red stater ignorant of human history would even try to suggest that we could have a worse president. And for you to suggest that Bush is not as bad as a man who sent millions to their death, well, it's hard to fathom just what is wrong with you.

And don't even get me started on Michael Moore! He's a hero and only fanatical wack-jobs would even begin to question otherwise! I don't care how many studies you can produce that claim otherwise! Moore says what I want to hear; if you don't want to hear it you're fucked in the head. That's the only possible conclusion any sensible person can come to, and because I'm amongst the most sensible you know where that leads to.

I hate to do this to you, Jay. But it has to be done. You voted for Bush because you're a bad person; inferior in numerous ways. And I'm going to keep tellin ya that until you hear me and vote Democrat next time. You're with us or you're with the red state fascist, black and white seeing, evil people who vote against us.

And that goes for the rest of you in Dumfuckistan, as well!

I want to thank all the posters here (Masterson particularly) for the great fun. You have given me my best laughs for days.

I have posted part of this thread on http://heghinian.blogspot.com