Rumor has it that Texas Governor Rick Perry is still occupying the Governor’s Mansion in Austin. Given that no one actually seems to have SEEN Governor Goodhair in an honest-to-goodness public appearance in quite some time, whether or not this state actually has a functioning Chief Executive seems to be an open question. (Or is this the political sequel to Weekend at Bernie’s??)
From his secure, undisclosed location, Perry does seems to be moving decidedly to the right…although I’m not certain that ANYONE is farther to the than the Texas GOP. Governor Goodhair seems to be giving it the old college try, though.
Just for fun, here is a quiz.
Why did Texas Gov. Rick Perry refuse to honor last week’s observance of United Nations Day?
a) Perry wanted to make sure that President Bush — if there is another Bush term — wouldn’t be tempted to appoint him U.S. ambassador to the United Nations. That would mean the Texas Aggie from Paint Creek would have to pack up and move to — ugh — New York City.
b) He feared that he would have to put on a grass skirt and dance in the middle of the field during the upcoming UT-A&M football halftime.
c) He found another way to annoy mainstream Texans, thus making his re-election race in 2006 more competitive and exciting.
d) He was showing “concern over the lack of support the United Nations has shown for United States efforts to bring freedom and democracy to the world.”
If you picked “d”, you’ve obviously been paying listening to the Governor’s talking head, Kathy Walt, a wee bit too closely. Perry seems to lack the political subtlety of his mentor and predecessor, George W. Bush- whom no one could fairly accuse of anything resembling political subtlety. It’s as if Perry has decided that he’s not going to get blindsided by the Right, because he’s going to be so far to the Right that there will be no room left a la derecha. Yep, John Birch is alive and well, and he’s apparently living in the Governor’s mansion in Austin. Not only that, he’s running for re-election in 2006. I can hardly wait. The comedic value of a Perry re-election campaign out to be through the roof.
Of course, I still have to decide if I’m going to wage another write-in campaign for Governor, but if I do run, I doubt that any campaign I could run would rival Governor Goodhair for sheer comic relief. This is probably the first time anyone has ever accused the Texas GOP of possessing anything close to a sense of humor.