Susan found an animatronic dinosaur at a garage sale a couple weeks ago, so I decided to have some fun with it. It moves, and it makes dinosaur noises, and you can march it whichever in direction you choose. I thought it would be a perfect way to have some fun with Einar. After all, the guy is the very personification of “fraidy cat”. He’s scared of his own shadow, and no one would ever suspect him being a Brave Defender of the Realm.
One day, when Einar was in the living room, I fired up the dinosaur, and marched it toward Einar, making as many menacing dinosaur noises as I could coax out of the beast. Einar was…well, bemused, really. He looked at the dinosaur as if it was a box of cereal. After a cursory inspection, he turned and walked away. Damn, that mission was a resounding failure. Strike one….
OK, fine, I thought…I’ll try the same thing on Boo. That effort was also spectacularly unsuccessful. Boo just frankly looked bored by the whole thing. Strike two….
In a last, desperate effort to salvage my dignity, I tried the dinosaur out on Salem. She just laid down and went back to sleep. Strike three….
Merry f——-g Christmas…you try and do something nice, and look what happens….