December 14, 2004 7:11 AM

So when is the candlelight vigil??

Huge Ford SUV set for extinction? Ford will stop producing the Excursion next September, according to a source familiar with the plan.

Join me, won’t you, for a moment of silence? This morning we are mourning reports of the demise of the Ford Excursion, Ford’s homage to testosterone-fueled “family transportation”. Yeah, it’s big, and yeah, it’s a gas guzzler, but the Excursion was an outsized symbol of a quintessentially American attitude towards vehicular transportation. It’s like I’ve always said: if I want to drive something the size of a road-grader, and I can afford the payments, maintenance, gas, and insurance, why shouldn’t I be able to park it in my driveway (even if it won’t fit in my garage)?

DETROIT (Reuters) - Ford Motor Co. will kill off the Ford Excursion, its largest sport utility vehicle and a lightning rod for criticism from environmental groups, next year, a source familiar with the plan said on Monday.

The mammoth vehicle will stop rolling off the assembly line in September, as Ford moves to free up production capacity for the refreshed Super Duty pickup truck, said the source, on condition of anonymity.

The Excursion and Ford Super Duty F-Series pickups are assembled at the automaker’s Louisville, Kentucky, truck plant….

U.S. sales of the Excursion, which was launched in 1999, are down 25 percent so far this year. The Sierra Club, which dubbed the Excursion the “Ford Valdez” after the infamous Alaskan oil spill, called it an environmental disaster because of its poor fuel economy rating.

Official gas mileage figures are not available from Ford or the Environmental Protection Agency, but a review on Kelly Blue Book’s Web site says the Excursion gets about 14 miles per gallon on the highway and 10 miles per gallon in the city.

On this issue, of course, I tend to part ways with my Liberal brethren. Personally, I LOVE SUVs. Perhaps it’s a latent need to compensate for all those years I drove a Geo Metro and two (yes, I know…stop snickering, dammit) Yugos because they were all I could afford. In my world, size doesn’t matter…unless we’re talking about motorized transportation. I am, after all, the confirmed Liberal tree-hugger who would willingly drive a Hummer. (Yeah, I know…I’m just FULL of contradictions, aren’t I??)

I’m not a big fan of the Excursion. Taking an Explorer and stretching it to a logical conclusion is just unworkable. Frankly, the Excursion is UGLY. If Ford had stopped with the Expedition (which isn’t on my Amazon wish list, but I would not argue with should someone want to park one under my Christmas tree…), they would have been OK. The Excursion, while a good idea, looks like a bastardized truck/minivan/SUV/something-or-other that was ultimately a compromise among designers who couldn’t agree on the final product.

Score one for the Sierra Club. Normally, I’d be in their corner celebrating a victory for our environment. What about our poor soccer moms, though? What are they to do without their ability to transport 18 kids while crushing anything that has the temerity to obstruct their frantic, frenzied progress? Has Ford bothered thinking about THEM? Is there ANYTHING more intimidating than a fully tricked-out Expedition with a lift kit on it AND an overcaffeinated, overstressed, sleep-deprived soccer mom behind the wheel? I think not. Whatever are the desperate houeswives to do now? I suppose only time will tell.

Be afraid, America…be very afraid.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on December 14, 2004 7:11 AM.

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