December 15, 2004 5:32 AM

When the gods want to punish us, they answer our prayers

Wife regrets man’s huge lottery win

It’s everyone’s dream…that $1 piece of paper you purchased with a few random numbers on it turns out to be the winning lottery ticket. Before you know what hit you, you’ve won $314.9 million. You decide to take it as a one-time lump-sum payment, and in the end you walk away with $113 million AFTER taxes. Not a bad return on investment, eh?

You’re rich, and life is wonderful…or is it? There are many things that can happen to you after such a windfall, and, as it turns out, a number of those things are bad…very bad.

When you’ve been used to living a life of enforced middle-class obscurity, how can you possibly be prepared for the harsh glare of the spotlight that comes with winning such a large sum of money? Are you prepared for the number of people who will view you as little more than a walking ATM? What about the volume of long-lost friends and distant “cousins” who will suddenly look you up in hopes of leeching a “loan” off you? Are you ready for the number of people who will try to set you up in compromising situations? How about those who will sue you just because they can, assuming that you will settle with them to mitigate the hassle and get you to go away?

Jack Whittaker clearly was unprepared for ANY of these things, and his wife would quite happily go back to the way things were when they were just another obsure middle-class family scraping to get by. The problem, of course, is that there IS no going back.

“I wish all of this never would have happened,” Jewel Whittaker told The Charleston Gazette for Tuesday’s editions. “I wish I would have torn the ticket up.”

Since winning the lottery two years ago, her husband, Jack Whittaker, has been arrested twice for drunken driving and has been ordered into rehab. He pleaded no contest Monday to a misdemeanor assault charge for attacking a bar manager, and is accused in two lawsuits of making trouble at a nightclub and a racetrack.

There have been several thefts involving Whittaker’s vehicle, his office and his house. One of the thefts occurred at his home in September on the same day an 18-year-old friend of Whittaker’s granddaughter was found dead there. The death remains under investigation.

Of course, if you’re going to leave more than a half-million dollars in cash in a briefcase in your SUV while you’re visiting a strip club, you can’t be surprise when trouble comes your way, eh?

I’ve got a couple of lottery tickets burning a hole in my wallet, and suddenly I find myself viewing the possibilities with a good deal more trepidation than I previously have. While it is true that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, the same generally holds true for money. We spend our days dreaming of what we’re going to do when “our ship finally comes in”, and yet we rarely conside what might really happen should that day ever come. Money does strange things to people, and while I think most of us would think ourselves immune to it’s charms, there is no way to know what will happen until you find yourself in that situation.

Think about it, and remember, sometimes not having your prayers answered is a good thing.

Yes, it would be nice to be instantly wealthy, but I don’t want to have anyone printing and selling T-shirts that say “WHERE’S JACK?”

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on December 15, 2004 5:32 AM.

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