December 16, 2004 6:38 AM

Whither my own political dreams?

Kinky Friedman to announce gubernatorial bid on TV

It would appear that my favorite Jewish Cowboy is about to make it official. Kinky Friedman is throwing his hat in the ring in the Texas gubernatorial race. This, of course, changes everything…for me, at least.

SAN ANTONIO — Texas musician and author Kinky Friedman plans to formally launch his candidacy for Texas governor on live television in February, he announced Wednesday.

Friedman said he expects to appear outside the Alamo on MSNBC’s “Imus in the Morning” on Feb. 3 or 4. He plans to be joined by the band “Asleep at the Wheel” and a group of child fiddlers.

Friedman told the San Antonio Express-News in Wednesday’s online edition that he chose the program because Imus is an old friend and “a lot of geezers watch his show in Texas.”

“This could be a very long shot,” Friedman said of his anticipated gubernatorial run, which he has touted for more than a year.

To date, Friedman is clearly the most qualified candidate, and he would certainly be a marked improvement over that rumor now occupying the Governor’s Mansion in Austin, Rick “Goodhair” Perry. Why is Friedman so eminently qualified? Well, he speaks in complete sentences, he doesn’t need the job, and he didn’t get his hair out of the Talking Heads ‘R’ Us mail-order catalog. Friedman owes no political debt to anyone. Since he won’t be galloping into office on anyone’s political coattails, he will be free to govern as circumstances dictate.

Anyone who devotes his live to rescuing animals already has a head start in my book. No Republican, certainly not Governor Goodhair nor Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, can hold a candle to Friedman in terms of his broad appeal to numerous interest groups- Texans, cowboys, Jews, animal lovers, Democrats, county music lovers, just to name a few.

Besides, who could anyone resist a candidate with the cojones to use this as one of his campaign slogans?:

In an effort to avoid splintering the Liberal country music-appreciating animal-lover vote in Texas, I may have to reconsider my own political aspirations. Those of you who have hung around these parts for any length of time may recall my own abortive write-in campaign for Governor in 2002 (Peace, Order and Anna Nicole Smith). Although I’ve never been able to discover my exact vote total, available anecdotal evidence leads me to believe I got at least 11 votes- not bad for a campaign with no budget, eh? Of course, the fact that I didn’t announce my candidacy until October 27th didn’t help my cause (and that my weblog was my primary- read, only- campaign tool), but I’ve always been something of a procrastinator.

Now I have to decide whether I’m going to mount a full-fledged campaign in 2006, or if I should endorse Friedman and work for his election. Of course, I’d put my campaign war chest and campaingn staff (both current nonexistent) at his disposal. Hmm…self-aggrandizement or burying my ego and ambition for the Greater Good? Whatever is a man with delusions of grandeur to do??

PS: Should I decide to run, my promise to invade Louisiana still holds true. In fact, given that our fine Texas National Guard is now combat-seasoned from duty in Iraq, I may just decide to conquer Arkansas and Oklahoma as well.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on December 16, 2004 6:38 AM.

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