January 20, 2005 5:00 AM

And you thought your miserable, pointless existence sucks....

Then I watched Animal Planet and learned a whole lot about the octopus. Do you know their mating ritual? The male hands the female a packet of sperm and she tucks it away until she can make a nest. Could you imagine? “Honey, I got you a little gift!” “13 million sperm? But how did you know?” So yeah, that was pretty romantic.

What sucks, though, is that the female will nest and not move for six months - not to eat, not to shower, not even for a Star Wars prequel - until the eggs hatch. Then she dies and starfish eat her.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 20, 2005 5:00 AM.

The Carnival of the Vanities, #122 was the previous entry in this blog.

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