Here's a few clues (Chapter 5)

Interesting statistic? A Google search for "you might be a conservative if" returned 192 hits, while a search for "you might be a liberal if" returned 1070, and "you might be a libertarian if" returned 102.

You might be a liberal if:

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  You deplore prejudice and bigotry in all its forms, but think that everyone in the ìred statesî is an idiot
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  You think that if someone is getting richer, someone, somewhere, must be getting poorer
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  You think that it's wrong to execute a convicted serial killer, but abortion on demand is a constitutional right
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  You believe that more federal regulations will make your life better
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  Your favorite Marx brother was Karl
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  You believe that even though the top 20 percent of taxpayers pay 80 percent of income taxes, that the rich are not paying their ìfair share"
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  You think that raising taxes will reduce the budget deficit
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  You think that Rush Limbaughís listeners are mind numbed robots, while blindly accepting everything in Michael Moore's F-911
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  You believe in global warming today just as firmly as you believed in global cooling back in the 1970s
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  You believe that there was never a problem with biased news coverage until Fox News went on the air
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  If you say "we" won the Cold War, but you opposed everything Ronald Reagan did to win it
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  If you think the New York Times is fair and balanced, but Fox News is ultra right-wing
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  You have used the phrase, ìin Europe, the government pays for health care and vacation,î without irony
• 
  You think that the phrase ìseparation of church and stateî is in the Constitution


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  You think Hillary and her village could raise children better than the parents can


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  You believe in more conspiracy theories about Bush than the X-files could come up with


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  You think that even though more people voted against him than for him in both the 1992 and the 1996 presidential elections, Bill Clinton had a mandate

# You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

# You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two."

# You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

# You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

# You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

# You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

# You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

# The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

# You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

# You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

# You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

# You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

# You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

# You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

# You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

# You answer to "The Man."

# You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

# You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

# You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you suspect Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

# You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit...

# You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

# You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

# When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

# You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

# You think Birkenstok was that radical rock concert in 1969.

# You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

# Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

# You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

# You've ever said "civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties."

# You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

# You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bitch" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.

# You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."

# You've ever called education a luxury.

# You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

# You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

# You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

# You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

# You're afraid of the "liberal media."

# You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

# You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.

# You think all artists are gay.

# You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

# You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

# You confuse Lenin with Lennon.