January 10, 2005 5:59 AM

Quick...hide the key to the mini-bar!

Difficult decisions waiting in Austin

If you live in or near Austin, you may want to make certain that your the women and children are safe. Why, you ask? Well, silly, it’s because, come tomorrow, the Texas Legislature is back in session. Before you know it, overfed good ol’ boys will be asking for liquor and car keys. You might just want to give some serious consideration to avoiding Austin until at least Memorial Day.

AUSTIN - Plagued by another shortage of money, Texas lawmakers will convene their biennial session on Tuesday, ready to wrestle over a new state budget, school finance, and an array of other difficult and divisive issues.

Before adjourning on Memorial Day, lawmakers also will debate abortion, school vouchers, the death penalty, crime labs, gambling, abused children, gay marriages and almost every other ax that any legislator has to grind.

The partisan lineup will be virtually identical to what it was in 2003, when Republicans for the first time in modern history gained a majority of the Texas House and control of all the power points in the state Capitol.

With an 87-63 majority, depending on the outcome of two election challenges, the GOP will have enough clout in the House to make a strong push for some long-sought conservative priorities, such as tax-paid vouchers to allow some children to transfer from public to private schools and a bill requiring minors to have their parents’ permission before receiving abortions.

Of course, the comic relief value this session ought to be through the roof. It’s often been said that the two things that one should never watch being manufactured are sausage and legislation. No doubt this biennial lovefest will provide ample proof for this theory.

If we’re not careful, this Red State Legislature will make every “I got mine, you get yours” Red Meat Conservative very happy. Once they are able to prove that “Compassionate Conservative” is every bit the oxymoron it sounds, then they can start on making Texas a place that John Birch would be proud of. I can hear almost hear the rallying cry now: UN OUT OF AUSTIN!!

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 10, 2005 5:59 AM.

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